Afterlife Reports Excerpted

Grandma said that she was laying in her hospital bed, when she suddenly felt like she was floating. She turned around and looked down at her body laying on the bed, then looked ahead to see a bright light and a long grassy hill. She said that her first thought was, "There is no way that I can climb that hill," before she was floating above it to wherever her destination lay. She said she could smell roses everywhere, and as she reached the crest of the hill, there were roses of every color and size. →	She told us that their scent was almost overwhelming, the smell was so sweet. She continued on, over the roses, and at the top of the hill there stood a crowd of people. She said that she recognized my grandfather, her mother and father, her brothers, and several other family members, but then an angel of unspeakable beauty stopped her as she headed toward them.	She said that she recognized the angel as being my mother (her daughter) who told her, "Now is not your time, you can't stay here yet. Go back, and tell my children how much I loved them, and they are still loved." She said my mother said other things to her, but she could not remember them. She told us that she could feel herself falling as she "came back" to her body on earth, and she was so hysterical because she didn't want to come back.	She said that she could see the city shining in the distance, that the whole place was so beautiful that it hurt your eyes to look at it for very long, and that there was a bright, white light that emanated from the center of the city in the distance. 1d/May 1, 2002 [This report was the first drawn in sample d, May 1, 2002 is the iands date for it.]
I remember standing (or whatever) in a bright white sort of fog, and there was a being (or energy force) on my left. I felt very close to this being (wanting to be with it as one would a spouse, etc.) I also remember wandering around in a charcoal-colored fog. I must add that this accident took out a big hole in my memory of my life. I've lost the whole day that it happened, the weeks I was in the hospital.	Of that all I remember is a flash of my coming-to in ICU, and a little bit of when I must have been in therapy because I remember working with blocks and wondering why I had to do this and why I was placed with all the other people in there who were obviously so 'out of it'. And several more weeks after that.	I did not remember any of the experience until a few months ago my mother happened to be talking about my stay at the hospital and what I had said to her. As soon as she reported that I had said, "I was in a place where it was all bright white...," this came rushing back to me and I remembered it.	There are so many things I can't remember from the past, UNLESS someone mentions something that 'cues' my mind to remember it. I've been told that I said some strange things when I was in the hospital, but from what I've been told nothing makes any sense and it has not 'cued' any memories.	What I was wanting to know is if there is any way my mind can be 'cued' so that I can remember even more of my experience (because what I do remember is only just that little flash). I WANT TO REMEMBER MORE OF THIS! 2d/Oct. 6, 2001 [This appears also in 6d/Feb. 25, 2002, below.]
I was in a deep sleep. I'd guess about 2am when I heard my dog bark softly as he rested, just outside my bedroom window. I'd not been dreaming. The noise, i.e., the bark of my dog, did not startle me or frighten me, but it did awaken me. I remained perfectly still and listened to see if the dog would bark again or go after something. Nothing else was heard. I then became aware that although my body was totally relaxed, even numb, I was completely alert. I could have raised up and gotten out of bed at that moment if I had chosen to do so but as I listened quietly for possible other sounds from my dog.	I noticed a "light feeling" in the mid sternum region. It felt really good so I allowed this "feeling" to continue. Within a few seconds I (?) was lifting, i.e., coming up out of my chest. It was the most incredible feeling of well being that I'd ever experienced. I kept saying over and over to myself, "I can't believe this feels so •••• good!" A few seconds later I lifted out of my body (chest!), turned, and drifted up into the corner of my bedroom.	As I looked back I could see both my wife and myself lying in bed. I tried to make scientific types of observations because I appreciated the event taking place was something out of the ordinary. I didn't see, smell, or hear anything else unusual, but I asked myself a couple of times in succession, "How can I be doing this?" The answer was too obvious. "I must be dead!" I told myself. My eyes looked intensely at my chest to see if I could see it move with respirations.	The room was not completely dark and in fact there was a lot of light because of the bed being next to the window and the moon must have been full. I could not see my chest move so I panicked and seemed to dive back towards my chest. I felt myself turn and start to fall back inside my body (chest). This is when I heard a noise, which surprised me, but a noise I can describe.	The sound was that of two tuning forks of the same frequency being brought together. It was a high-pitched resonating sound. I immediately sat up and got out of bed. I had not been dreaming. 3d/Jan. 23, 2002
I heard the nurse say, "No blood pressure." I went unconscious. Suddenly I found myself in a boat, floating down a river in a jungle. In the background I could hear the most magnificent music I had ever heard. It was a jungle drum beat of incredible dimensions. I became very elated with its incessant melodic sounding rhythm. There were two paddlers steering the canoe and eight passengers. I was brimming over with delight.	There was no feeling of pain or movement through the water. Then I came upon the distant shore. I was alone now. I do not remember stepping onto the shore. A radiant being in long white robes was there to greet me. I could not discern the sex of the being, or the face of the being. However the most incredible feeling of love surrounded me.	It emanated from the being. We were communicating through mental telepathy. I have never experienced such joy. All of a sudden I was back in bed with incredible pain. 4d/Feb. 5, 2002
Had pneumonia as a child with a temp of 107º for a time. At night while alone I was suddenly floating near the ceiling. Looking down I saw a kid that looked pretty sick. In fact, he looked dead and did not appear to be breathing. (I lived on a farm and knew what dead looked like.) After a bit the ceiling dissolved into darkness and opened up. I was drawn upward into a sort of tunnel although I could not see the walls. There was a rushing sound, as I seemed to gather speed.	I realized there was someone or something beside me that calmed my fears somewhat. A spot of light appeared in the distance, my speed lessened, and I stepped out into a kind of clearing. Two people I never saw before were beaming at me and said they were aunt and uncle. I did not know them, and at that time did not know that my mother had been adopted as a child.	There was some sort of fence and a guy at a kind of lectern. Everything was brilliantly illuminated with a white light. There was a pastoral scene with hills and trees and meadows. We waited for someone to come. The three others went into ecstasies as a brilliant figure approached. He/it asked me if I wanted to stay there.	I thought that my mother would miss me something dreadful if I did not go back. Assent was given. I was escorted back to the dark cave and I returned down the tunnel, with air rushing by, as on the way up.	Then I was at the top of the room, looking at my inert body. Next thing I knew I was back in my sweaty, miserable body again. 5d/Feb. 26, 2002
I remember standing (or whatever) in a bright white sort of fog, and there was a being (or energy force) on my left. I felt very close to this being (wanting to be with it as one would a spouse, etc.) I also remember wandering around in a charcoal-colored fog. 6d/Feb. 25, 2002 [This appears also in 2d/Oct. 6, 2001 above.]
The next time I drifted off, I suddenly saw myself in the air of the room. I saw myself and I saw my mom, she was asleep in a chair. I could see my body, my mom, the room, all in perfect detail. My spirit person was screaming and trying to wake up my mom, but she couldn't hear me. I was terrified. I (the spirit) screamed for what seemed like a full minute before I awoke in the room, still seeing the room the same way. 7d/Feb. 25, 2002
I was pushed into the operating room and placed on what seemed to be a metal bed. I was fully awake and alert. I saw several people dressed in uniforms preparing for the surgery. They all had on caps and gowns and face masks. There was one man who was near me and I asked him who he was. He replied that he would be putting me to sleep for the surgery. I asked him if he would tell me a few minutes before I went under, so that I would know when to expect it. Then I noticed a man standing beside one of the walls. No one was talking in the room and no one seemed to notice that man.	But I noticed that he was doing nothing while the others were busy working. He just stood there and stared at me and had a smile on his face. He was dressed differently from the others as he had on a white shirt that was a pull over shirt with a purple stand up collar. I could not see below his waist as there was a metal table in front of him. He reminded me of a "Hippy" of the 60s. His hair was long and black.	His eyes were brown and he had a black beard which was of medium length. He had a strange nose which came out of his forehead higher than usual. His dress was different from the others and he wasn't doing anything . I remember thinking "Who is that guy?" Then the doctor told me to count backwards from 100 and that I would be out in a little bit. So I did count and stared at that man until I became unconscious.	After the surgery, this man who I was watching before I went under, was on my mind and I questioned everyone to find out who that he was. Well. No one saw him. The Doctor laughed at me and told me that there are a lot of people who see other people before they go under, but never did anyone tell him about seeing an "Angel."	When he said that to me I realized that the person I saw was not a man but an Angel, and I was too stupid to realize it at the time. I guess that's all and it is the truth. As my Doctor said, "No one is allowed in the room without a cap and gown and a mask on before a surgery." And no one saw such a man except for me. 8d/Feb. 25, 2002
Whether I had fallen asleep or not, I'm still not sure. But I must have noticed, suddenly instead of gradually, what seemed to be the fever getting higher. I felt even more weak and relaxed, but I felt extremely heavy. Even my fingers felt like they weighed a hundred pounds. I REALLY liked feeling that relaxed. I felt more of a void of everything, emotionally and physically.	I remember thinking it was nice to have no worries, no pain, fear etc. But I also noticed no joy, pleasure or any of the good counterparts. I was VERY surprised to learn that I liked the void. Then my husband came to mind and I felt an urgency not to enjoy this void too much, that I needed to be with him and not leave him.	Then I became frightened and tried to call out to him, but I thought he couldn't hear me. In my mind I was screaming a little louder and louder each time. When I thought I screamed the loudest out of panic, I finally heard me whispering to him and I realized I hadn't been heard at all. Then I guess I gave up trying to make him hear me.	The next thing I remember is being in a void. I couldn't tell whether I was in light or darkness. I just remember NOTHING being all around me, except He was about six feet in front of me, standing there. He was silent for a while as if He was giving me time to revel and let everything sink in.	When I looked at Him, He seemed to be about the size of a regular man, being he was only about six feet away. Height and everything seemed normal, but in another sense He seemed huge. Not in size but in glory. Glory was the first thing that came to my mind because of the fact that even though He seemed my size. →
I kept wanting to look way up, straight up at Him instead of straight ahead. But I don't remember actually "seeing" anything larger than a man. Then I wondered why I didn't feel His everlasting love like everyone else does when they see Him. Then the answer came to me as soon as I thought the question: "That's not what I was there for," with no other explanation. Even though I understood the "answer," I still felt disappointed that I didn't feel His love, understanding, and mercy.	I felt disappointed, on top of cheated, and undeserving to feel these things from Him, but not angry--just very confused. I received no explanation as to why I hadn't felt these things, just the one "answer." Then He told me that he was going to show me something, as in to prepare me so I wouldn't have a heart attack or something. I immediately felt paralyzed but not frightened, and he showed me several thousand visions at once.	The only way I have if figured out how to describe this experience is taking a hand full of bee bees and dropping them onto the floor. The visions came to me as fast as the bee bees would hit at the same time on the floor. I don't remember any of them except the first. He was standing beside me on a mountain top, and we were looking down on a valley. Several hundred people were scattering around as if they were preparing for some big event that was about to happen soon.	On the other side of the valley was another mountain, with trees greener than I've ever seen with my own eyes. The same applies to the color of the trees and the valley's grass was not a color I've seen here on earth. The first thing I noticed was my vision--the ability of my physical vision. From the mountain top I was standing on, the valley seemed to be MANY miles away, at least ten or so, maybe more.	But I could see clearly every detail of both sides of the valley as I could the other. If one of the people were to have had a note in their hand, or two people had a note for instance, I would have been able to read them on both sides of the valley at one time. I don't remember seeing anything specifically, but I do remember how well I was able to see. →
I have a faint memory of an object in the middle of the valley, and of the people going to and from this object, like they were preparing it, or something with it or something. The object seemed to be about the size of a standard sized car with a similar shape. (I later learned the measurements of the Ark of the Covenant are of similar shape and size, yet the fact does not jog my memory any.) I also faintly remember the people wearing a different style of clothing than we do today.	Though I don't remember what the difference is, I do recall they didn't seem to be manufactured. Sandals and robes and the like SEEM familiar, but I don't specifically recall any of those things. They just seemed to be from biblical times or something. That was the last of the vision I remember before waking up. 9d/Feb. 25, 2002
Then I heard a loud voice tell me to put down the drink, stop drinking. I was startled. The voice was very assertive and powerful. I listened and put the drink down. I then felt a window open up in the back of my head and air started rushing through it. I started to feel myself falling, though my friend later stated I was perfectly still. I could still hear the voice. She was telling me I was going to be alright, things were going to be okay. I was safe and didn't need to be scared. I felt very calm even though part of me was terrified of what was happening. I had no control anymore. I couldn't move. I was trying to focus on something to keep me here, but I continued to fall.	I could feel my heart stop beating, my body became numb and cold. Everything became dark and suddenly I was falling through a tunnel. It looked very futuristic, like something out of Star Wars, with lights zooming by me at warp speed. I could see images at the end of the tunnel, but none of them were clear enough to distinguish. They seemed very far away, but no matter how much I kept falling, they never got close enough for me to see. The voice was still reassuring me that everything was going to be alright.	I suddenly felt jolted back into reality, literally like I had been thrown. My friend was shaking me, asking what had happened. I said I didn't know. The voice told me to tell my friend that if it started to happen again, to get help. She was scared, but I felt surprisingly calm. The voice told me to tell my friend to start writing what was happening down. I had a notebook in my backseat and told her to grab it. I then began to have a vision of a street with cars driving down it. It was in a city, there were tall buildings all along the right side.	They were all moving very fast. I became aware that at every intersection there was a green light with a red left turn arrow. Then I saw an image of a dark car with a dark figure standing at the passenger window, as if talking to someone inside. The figure got in the car. For some reason I felt afraid of this scene, the car and the figure. Then the voice told me to stay away from the dark cars and dark figures. The images stopped.	I decided to try to talk to this voice. I asked her who she was, if she was god. She told me she couldn't answer me, but that I would learn on my own. Then I looked to the sky and saw an image of a smiling woman with wavy golden hair. Underneath her were stalks of golden wheat. She was glowing, emanating beauty, peace and love. I had the feeling that she knew everything, from the past to what is yet to come. →
I decided to ask her a stupid trivial question, that only a teenager could think to ask at a time like this, what was going to happen between me and the guy I'm seeing? She laughed softly and said that she couldn't tell me that either, but that I had a gift and if I learned to use it, then I would know. I became curious about this gift. I asked her what kind of a gift it was. She told me that I had a power, something that I was born with, and that it was time that I learn how to use it because I was sent to give a message. She told me I was special. I had a purpose, a reason to be here. I was beautiful and strong.	Life was beautiful, everything was beautiful. Everything had a reason and a purpose. Everything was happening for a reason, from the moment I was born. Everything down to the people I had met and places I had been. I have always believed myself to be a little psychic, but always been skeptical. Now I knew, it was all real. It was in me and greater than I had ever imagined, I just needed to learn how to use it. The woman told me that it was starting now.	She told me to tell my friend to begin to write down every word that came out of my mouth, and everything that she herself was seeing, feeling, and experiencing. The voice said my friend was going to write a book. That's why she was there. That's why we were together as friends on this earth. My friend was confused, but obeyed. I felt as if I was slipping into a trance-like state. I began speaking. I could hear my voice, but was not consciously aware of what I was saying. I slowly began to feel myself having control over my body.	I could feel the presence of the woman disappear. I began to cry hysterically, not from fear, but joy and confusion and helplessness. We had a purpose, I had a purpose. Somebody really did care about me, love me. These were incredible concepts for me, someone who was raised an atheist, but found her own way into certain aspects of paganism. 10d/March 26, 2002
I was in bad shape. When I finally laid back and "fell asleep," I had the strangest sensation. I felt as if I was out of my body, and was traveling at a high rate of speed to another place. I was frightened out of my mind, so frightened, in fact, that had I been in my body I would have had a heart attack. I arrived in a very different place, in a very different state. There were people around me that I was aware of, but I couldn't "see" them in the conventional sense. I had a sort of 360 degree awareness.	There was another there with me, a guide, who was answering my questions. I knew she was female, and had been in her twenties when she died, and she was blonde. I knew that she was my guide on this side. Communication was really different, as I didn't speak. I felt thoughts welling up inside of me and there were answered immediately. There were no words, it seemed that it was all feeling, all intuitive.	Knowledge of anything I wanted to know was instantly transferred without language. I was informed that where I was there was no time or space restrictions, and I could go anywhere and any-when I wanted by power of will. I had all this power suddenly open to me. I was still emotionally upset about this new condition that I found myself in and asked "I can do anything? I can have everything?	Am I God?" It was at this time I discovered that there is a sense of humor on the other side! My guide informed me that I was not God, and all I had to do was to think, to will a place and time and I would be there. I did. I wanted to see New York in the 1940's. We were transported to a dark alley in Brooklyn.	I could see living figures dressed in long overcoats and Fedora's, and an old car. I could even read the license plate. I was also aware of other beings there that were not alive in the physical senses of the word. They had a bluish tinge to them. →
My guide had a golden-greenish tinge, like masses of undefined energy. I believed that I was going to be there forever. I thought "I'm dead, this is where I will be now." But I felt myself pulled back. No one was more surprised at this than my guide. I believe that she didn't know that I was going back.	I felt the heaviness and the disease in my body as I re-entered. I felt my lungs heavy and painful, as if my body was lead. When I awoke, all I could do was smile and laugh softly. 11d/April 4, 2002
I felt as though I was in a tunnel traveling quickly as though on a roller coaster with flashes of light but could not discern anything really visible. While at the hospital ashore, my heart stopped again and I went to a gray void area and was looking around into the darkness. A lighted doorway appeared or beckoned me from my distant right. Above and around the door was a moving ghostly white fog (Holy Ghost?)	As I moved toward it a woman appeared within the lighted door frame, and she was either waving toward me or to someone in the light. I saw large light waves kaleidoscope into the darkness and smaller ones kaleidoscope off a large diamond ring on her finger.	I was moving toward the light getting closer and closer (seeing clouds and blue sky? on the other side) when suddenly I was pushed and found myself awakening in the hospital with a frantic doctor over me. 12d/April 4, 2002
While I was in the emergency room laying in bed waiting, the last thing I remember is my dad putting a cold rag on my head and then a bright bright light surrounding me but I wasn’t in bed. I was walking and going towards the source of the light. I had no pain, and had the feeling of right on finally this is over!	I felt anxious to go wherever it was I was going and happy about it. Then I remember someone, a being, I guess, not really a face just a presence, and with no words stopped me in my tracks and let me know I had to go back. It wasn’t time yet.	The presence gave me the greatest feeling of unconditional love I have ever felt and sent me back without ever speaking a word. 13d/May 15, 2002
I was lying down when suddenly the room was full of light. It was the warmest softest most comforting light I ever saw, and I thought I was in heaven. Soon after I was in a hospital and diagnosed with Manic Depression.	But honestly to this day I feel it was a near-death experience. 14d/May 20, 2002
Had fallen from a horse. Rose up in a ray of light, until I was asked, "Do you believe in God?" I answered, "Yes," and had to leave the light. It was light blue all around me, and I saw my grandmother in an old boat, rather upset at the fact I was a believer. She told me my Dad would look after me, and then I saw him with my brother also in an old boat.	Next thing I remember is him asking me "Do you want to stay or go back?" I did not have time to answer him, finding myself with my daughter, then 10, crying, so upset, having been told that my chances of living were very small.	I could not get through to her, she could not hear or feel me. I was upset! I did go to my son, then 14, but with the same result. I found myself back with Dad who could see I was upset, and thus wanted to return.	On the way back I saw a caterpillar, with a very charming face saying, "Play my music to regain your health," smiled, and I neared my body. 15d/May 30, 2002
EMS found me not breathing... During this time I had a sense they were there.... But so far away.... Where I was, was on a white sand beach, standing in the hot sand. The hot sun beating down on me. The sky was so blue; the water was a clear ice blue. The tide was washing over my feet. Behind me a few yards away was a palm leaf shelter...with a cool jug of water under it.... But I was looking out over the water where a stark white bi-plane was landing on the water. It glided on the water to the shore.	Where it slid upon the sand...when it stopped, the side door opened. There was no one flying the plane.... I realized that all this time there had been no sound at all...no sound of wind or waves or the gulls in the sky. I also now knew that if I got into the plane that I was never coming back. It was up to me to live or die.	It seems that when they had me in the ambulance they had lost me completely. Only after I was in the emergency room were my vital signs stabilized. This happened once more... it seems they lost me later that night after they had told my family that I had only 1% chance of waking up, and even then I would be very brain damaged.	This time the near death experience was the exact same except that...this time when the plane glided to a stop on the shore I could hear my own voice saying "NO" out loud and the white plane turned around and flew off onto the very hot, very bright sky... I woke up...	Only then did I learn I had been unconscious for seven days. I truly believe I was given a choice to live or die. It was up to my will! ... I still feel a very real presence was all around me. I was not alone! 16d/June 10, 2002
Hard to explain, remember dieing, but not a near death. It was death and knowing I was dead. It was dark and I saw the light. I was wondering why I died. What happened? And, thinking it must have been a fast death, then a fear that if I didn’t go into the light I would be lost. And that I remember someone or a feeling to go to the light or something bad might happen.	Then I went to the light. Don’t know how long I was in the light. The light was instant to me. I opened my eyes. I was lying on someone’s lap. I was lost and scared. Wondering who this person is, where am I? I was in a new body. New place. A new life. I had hard time with all of it.	I was starting over. There is a big curiosity about life after death/near death. I had death and life and every thing in between. The mind is not the person. It’s the electricity that makes the body work? I have feelings and am scared about my past life.	My mind has stored the things I liked and what scared me or killed me in past life. And they haunt me every day. It’s just what I know. Take it as you wish. 17d/June 16, 2002
I was awake but I was very heavy and I could not breathe. For a moment it panicked me and then suddenly I no longer had the need to breathe. I saw the picture I had previously described come alive [Christ walking with two disciples]. He was walking with His two disciples and I wanted to go with them.	He suddenly turned around and with his finger motioned to me to come to Him. I was thinking, "Yes, wait for me, I am coming." I felt euphoric. I was not breathing and I heard a nurse say in Greek: "She is turning blue."	I felt an oxygen mask on my nose. I struggled, I did not want it, I wanted to go to where I was beckoned to come. I felt angry that they brought me back. 18d/July 27, 2002
I remember the sensation of floating up to the florescent lights, warmly wrapped in a sheet. Before I went into the light I became aware of the resuscitation effort below me and a vague memory of me lying there with CPR being done. Next I traveled up through the light and now very clearly remember saying, "Wow this is great! This is better than any drugs that I took in college!"	I more or less repeated this a few times as I continued upwards until I became aware of human forms off to my left with one standing right beside me. I could not make out features as it was too bright behind them. The person beside me put out his hand over my crossed hands on my chest and said to me, "You have to go back, your time is not yet."	I argued with him saying that it was too beautiful here and I did not want to go back. He then said "Yes you have to go back. You have a wife and child, you have to go back." He kept repeating this until my mother ran into the ER. The doctor said, "it was no use. He’s dead." My mom screamed “NO!”	She grabbed me by the shoulders and slammed me down on to the bed. I woke up to find my mom crying over me and, her tears landing in my eyes and stinging. It felt as if my spirit slowly entered my body. 19d/Aug. 12, 2002
One night while asleep in 1992 I saw my deceased friend while I was out of my body in a room that had rows of church-pew-style seats. There was another person there, a male. He was holding out a white coat towards me saying if I wanted to be with her then I had to put it on.	The coat was like the dentist's, whereby you put your arms in first and it fastens up the back. As I began putting my arms in I felt frightened and quickly pulled them back out.	I then "traveled" approximately six feet above the ground down a path with tall trees on both sides. Everything glowed with silver light; rocks, trees, plants etc. I then woke up in my bedroom. 20d/Aug. 25, 2002
My neck and shoulders had not yet hit the pillow, when I realized, that as I touched my eyes, I was no longer myself. I was a presence, aware of the yellow-lined green clouds and was being invited to jump into the turquoise sky. I did have a feeling like a golden spider web that vibrated to the universal sounds and feelings. I was in love.	I heard a voice tell me, I could “not remain” there, I would “have to go back." I asked, “Why not?” and was told that I would “have to finish what I had started out to accomplish." I acknowledged okay and was back in the rack. 21d/Aug. 25, 2002
Suddenly I was falling down this pitch black pit. My stomach felt as if I was on a roller coaster, the speed I was traveling at had to be tremendous. It sounded very echoey. At my left side was a wolf. It was snarling and growling and foaming at the mouth like a rabid animal. I could feel its breath and spittle flying into my face.	I knew this wolf was going to tear me limb from limb. I remember screaming for my father to help me over and over. This experience is as real today as the day it happened even after all these years. 22d/Sept. 8, 2002
I realized my heart had stopped. That was a strange feeling all by itself. I found myself out of my body and in a new environment. A dark-haired gentleman met me at the door of a very large complex and invited me in. It wasn't a dream. I remember every detail still, 10 months later. He took me through the building and showed me different areas. He showed me a classroom and I saw a few people sitting at desks.	He took me to a room filled with ball gowns and he showed me a rack of them that belonged to me. He took me up on a roof and showed me many people out there. I told him I felt great fear in the people. He said they had come from the September 11th incident and they wouldn't come indoors yet.	He took me to a room that looked like a lodge kitchen. It had lots of card tables and a stove and cooking area. There was a grand looking grey haired man making baked goods. I believe he was the head of the lodge or wherever I was. He looked like a fit Santa Claus. He was very loving and smiled at me.	He communicated telepathically. He showed me a vision of my ex-husband hiding stocks in the sand. Then, I was sent back. 23d/Sept. 8, 2002
The nurse placed a cotton mask over my nose and mouth and sprayed it with ether. The next thing that happened, my mind left my body and I drifted up from the table and then through the skylight, still seeing the nurse and doctor over me. I then went upward over Chicago through the sky and drifted past star after star until I suddenly woke up.	I have realized that all religions are based on myth because I felt so wonderful drifting through space and never saw "heaven." This occurred 61 years ago and I remember it as if it occurred yesterday. 24d/Sept. 16, 2002
I felt my breathing hurting and becoming harder. ... I fell asleep to suddenly waking up at about 8:10 a.m. That's when I told my mother it was time for me to go. That I loved her very much and not to feel bad because I never really got to be a happy girl. I also noticed a boy (about in upper teens) waiting by the coffee table. He kept trying to hurry me along with my mom. I kept saying things like (please excuse my French but I m telling you the whole thing) “---- off and give me another minute!." My mom kept asking who I was talking to and tried to quiet me down.	My sister upstairs said that I woke her and she thought to herself, "What's up with her?" only to have a voice go off in her head and say, "She's dying." She dismissed it and fell back to sleep. I kept telling my mom how much I loved her and had to go now. She only dismissed and said, "Yes you need to sleep now and well go to the clinic later." Well, she laid next to me on the couch and said, "God you’re cold," and rubbed my legs and feet.	By 10:00 a.m. my mom got up to use the bathroom and I followed. When she came out we both noticed how my arm was hanging funny off the couch. How I was ashen colored. In case you didn't notice I said: “I was on the couch,” but also next to my mom looking at myself too. She tried to wake me, checked for a pulse, shook me and began yelling at me. That brought my sister downstairs to only look at me and say, "Mom, she's dead."	My mom yelled at her to never say that and told her to call 911, and she ran upstairs to get my dad. I followed my sister to the phone and watched her and listened to her on the Tele with the 911 lady. (The whole time that boy is with me and telling me we had to go). Next, my dad came down and started to shake and yell at me to wake up. Then my parents went into action and started CPR.	My sister couldn't hack hearing the air come back up like it did. (She said that was the scariest sound she'd ever heard.) I followed her out to the porch. She was waiting for the paramedics. They came and shocked me and then, I don't remember again until the ride in the ambulance when I saw my dad in the front passenger seat of the ambulance looking back and watching the men work on me. →
Then we made it to the hospital and I followed the doctor in where he told my parents that I was down too long and I would not regain, and if I did it would be at what quality of life. Hell, they had the Red Cross on standby for organs and a Reverend wanting to give me last rights. I remember hearing the prayers people would say in their heads as the Reverend prayed over me. I heard people’s personal thoughts about me. As all this was going on I'm begging to please not let me go back because I loved it where I was and my life back there was such crap.	I remember being told that I was very much loved and believed in many wrong people and beliefs. I was shown who was true and who was not to me. I was told that I was beautiful and loved and would be missed. One thing I will always remember is being told how my mom was not ready for this. I was shown what would take place if I were not to come back.	I saw her sitting in her bedroom with nothing but the feeling of dread and sadness. It's very hard to describe all the things that were taking place all at once. Then I remember my brother (he's in the Navy and was stationed in Chicago at the time) coming in the room and saying how he felt like someone just kicked him in the stomach.	Then I just suddenly woke up from my coma that they claimed I never would wake up from and, if I did I'd be a veggie. I held out my hand to my parents who sat at my bedside day and night. They jumped out of their skin and they looked shocked to see me awake. 25d/Oct. 13, 2002
My thoughts will seem, actually be, disconnected during this writing. I've never been able to find anyone to talk to about this experience that even remotely understands what I am going through. I was speeding through a black tunnel with reddish colors--so fast. I felt scared. I had no control, and the experience was horrible. It ended and I find myself in a place of black. A void. Time went on forever, but there was no time. Space went on forever, but there was no space. Time and space were one. Time and space did not exist. I felt scared. I called out. I realized there was no way out. I prayed.	I couldn't kill myself, because I was already dead. (There is no earthly record that I was dead. I may not have had an earthly death.) I realized I had no control. I was to be there forever. I curled up in a fetal position. Then soon I'm in another place, walking (floating) with, I think it was, two "beings," for want of a better word. A place of great "light". It is soooooooooooooooooo beautiful. I feel so wonderful. I feel happy. I feel sooooooooooooooo much love.	It is indescribable. There is so much love. The outstanding feature of this entire experience is the feeling (?), knowing (?), no, it's the love itself. A love I've never experienced on this earth. Never in my earthly life have I experienced the pure love. Not pure love. Maybe it was pure love. Or maybe it was "full" love of which we experience only minute aspects of it on earth. We were in this great light. But, it was different than the light on earth.	I didn't feel it like the heat of the sun, and I love the sun. Nor was it like I had to shield my eyes. But, it was a great, magnificent light. We were walking, floating, over a field of wheat. We were "talking." Much talk. Back and forth. I had sooo many questions. I was soooo happy and at peace. I can't say I felt like these beings were old friends, but I had the feeling of love and safety with them.	Again, for want of a better description. We talked and talked and talked as we walked. I kept asking questions, and they kept answering my questions, as we kept walking. I'll mention that our talking was done by thinking. But, it wasn't intruding on one's thoughts. It was just the way we talked. We talked just by asking. But, it was all done without our mouths. →
The part I find sad, is that I cannot remember one thing that I asked or one thing that they said to me. I do know they were telling me about a place we were going to. I could see a (again, for want of a better word) line, or border. Like a horizon, for want of a better word. It was a place of even greater light. We were headed there, and they were excited about it. Then they turned to me and told me I had to go back.	We were still in the place of light. I told them I wouldn't go. They tried to convince me to go back. I was adamant. I was staying. Then, another being showed up out of nowhere. I had the feeling he was stronger, or had more authority than the others. Or was different in some way.	He talked to me and tried to convince me to return. I still refused, and was steadfast in my decision. I was staying, and they couldn't do anything about it. I was staying. All of a sudden, there was this force pulling me backward. I resisted with all my might, but it was no use.	It was stronger than I was. I kept being pulled backward. It was quick. I woke up in my body. 26d/Oct. 27, 2002
The strange thing in my opinion, is that I do not remember anything about leaving my body and any tunnel effect. I only remember I was there in a complete internal light environment. I did not see any related person. I "communicated" with "something" that I did not really see, but it was there and told me that I had to return. I remember that I wanted to stay. (I did not feel any connection with my family and found it completely irrelevant as an argument to return.)	It was not my time and I had still to do something on earth. Without telling me what and so, I still ask myself what I have to do. But, it will be clear when the time is there as I was told. Before sending me back I was allowed to ask something and I remember very well. I asked how the universe was composed and it was explained to me in all details.	I remember that it was extremely beautiful and extremely simple and said to myself this information I must remember when I am sent back. Being sent back, I remember very well that it was a very painful experience to be put in a tunnel that becomes more and more narrow, and also when dimensions more and more became restricted.	I lost control over the information I got earlier (it felt as if my head was crashed). I woke up in my bed and found the earth a terrible dark place that really frightened me at that moment. 27d/Nov. 12, 2002
It was completely black. I had no sense of a body. I was very confused. I explain it as the feeling you get if you’re very little and you lose your mom in a crowd. It was total fear and aloneness. For a second I thought I might be in hell, it was so empty. Then a PEACE came over me. I felt like I was totally loved, totally happy. I had no fears or worries or pains. It was wonderful. I started hearing music. Beautiful music and, I started seeing a mirage of colors.	Suddenly I heard a faint voice. It felt like apparently I had been "moving" because I started to feel like I was coming down, like a helium balloon being pulled. I heard Dave and then Sheila, they were saying: “COME BACK” “COME BACK”!!!!" I was hearing this very quietly at first and than as I 'sank', it got louder and louder.	I then felt my body and knew that Dave was screaming in one ear and Shelia in the other. They were inches from my head. I felt groggy and light and I said, "I want to go back” and Sheila said, "You aren't going anywhere but the hospital." 28d/Nov. 19, 2002
In the beginning I was walking somewhere and it was dark, it looks like a different town or city. Someone is with me but I cannot see who. I now feel I cannot breathe or move. I am terrified, then I calm down and I am thinking, "Where am I?" At first I tell myself I must be dreaming. I think I am in a movie theater. It is so dark I can see nothing. Sounds crazy I know, but then I realize or I am thinking I have died. I am now in a house or building or something, there are other people but they do not notice me or speak to me. I am thinking that this is some sort of waiting room or purgatory.	The noise I hear I cannot describe, it is so loud, deafening! I am suddenly outside the place looking at some water, a lake I think. There are what look like little demons of some sort, but they don’t scare me. I ignore them. Then I am then in a different room with others, and again I feel like I am waiting to go to heaven, and the noise is still so loud. I am confused. I don’t feel I belong here and I am wanting God.	I suddenly began to move (sort of like floating) towards a tunnel. The others I sense are mad because I am going ahead of them. I am sucked up into a tunnel and I get the sudden knowledge that I am in a birth canal heading toward a light. It is very quick, and when I get to the light I see a woman in an ambulance. I am thinking that I am to be reincarnated as her child. I have never believed in reincarnation. She is African American and I am white.	(I know that I am white and I am thinking, "How can this be? How can I become her child now?") The race difference doesn't matter to me. I am thinking she is a nice person, I would like to be her child. But then I have a baby in my arms. I know that it is her child and at first I am thinking that I am bringing her baby to her. I know that I am taking her baby to Heaven.	I go through the light with her child and I come back through the light. And now I am walking down the tunnel again. I have a little girl of about five years of age holding my right hand and walking with me. I pass two women and it is the first time someone notices me. They smile. I pass a man who looks at me and says angrily, "Why does she get to go?" →
I ignore him. I don’t know who he is referring to, the little girl or me and I don’t care. I go through the birth canal feeling again (it is painful both times) towards a bright light. I go through with the little girl when I come back through she isn't with me. I am scared because I don't know where she is, then I realize she is with Jesus. I feel good that she is with Jesus, but I feel sorrow for her mother.	Then I walked back, passed the three people and I myself. I am walking towards a light. There is a woman with long dark hair in the light. I am thinking that she is my grandmother only she isn't old anymore. She looks at me and tells me "It’s not your time, it just isn't your time."	She is smiling. Then I am seeing a woman (she is beautiful with long brown hair) at the end of my hospital bed, and I can see myself lying in the bed. I am confused. I look at her and I am speaking to her, and I don't know how because I can see myself in the hospital bed with tubes down my throat, hooked to machines.	I am trying to convey to her the dream I had but she already knows and asks me while smiling: "Did you see the light?" I answer “Yes." I look at myself in the hospital bed, then look back towards her and she is gone. Then I wake up. 29d/Dec. 19, 2002
I was in the deep coma, hearing everything around me but could not say a word. I was seeing different pictures of my life and they would just pass in my mind. Everything was so heavy and I could not move or talk. I could hear though every single sound multiplied as if there was a speaker with a echo effect on it. Then I heard the ambulance arrive.	Once inside the ambulance truck, my dad came in and started again to cry, scream and express his faults, his guiltiness about all this. I was feeling at the same time so light, reaching the Light. I was in that tunnel getting closer and closer to that Light. It felt so good and light in the Light...	And again, the cries of my father were just unbearable. I could not understand why there was so much pain on earth, why human beings were so much in pain because I was just fine and light. Then I encountered beings of Light whom I called my Angels. It was awesome.	They told me: "You're okay. Everything is okay. Don't worry." And I knew it. ... Then I woke up several days later and the nurse and the surgeons could not believe it. I heard them say: "It's a Miracle!" 30d/Jan. 2, 2003
As a small child I drifted freely between the realm of the spiritual and physical realm. As young as the age of four, I can remember leaving my body when my mother put me to bed. My body would be in bed but, my spirit drifted freely through the house. From room to room I could see my siblings asleep in their beds. I soared down the hall into a darkened kitchen that filled me with fear. Still my spirit went there.	I trembled for a moment until I was able to control my flight. Christmas Eve, at the age of 5, I drifted into the living room and observed the lights on the tree for some duration. I saw all the decorations we had prepared for the holiday, the stockings etc.	Another nde: I laid on the sofa exhausted from a hard day's work. I drifted off into sleep. During my sleep my spirit left again racing at enormous speed into the blue sky. It took me as high as the clouds. At first, I thought I was dreaming, but I soon realized that I was dying.	I thought about my young son and I panicked. What would happen to him? I was all he had and the grief would surely destroy him. My heart pumped hard and fast so that my whole body jerked with its beat.	I realized that for a moment I had died, but my spirit was not ready to leave my son and it returned to my body. 31d/Jan. 7, 2003
Upon arrival at the hospital I was taken to the emergency room. My father, a state trooper, arrived shortly thereafter. After 15-20 minutes, a doctor came to my parents and advised them there was nothing more that they could do - I was dead. He told them I was dead on arrival and had probably died en route to the hospital. My father would not accept this. He had the doctor take him to my body. My father then began performing CPR despite the doctor's insistence it would be to no avail.	The doctor assisted my father, and moments later I revived. After remaining hospitalized for several days the doctor expressed his astonishment that I had not sustained any brain damage or any other ill effects. I was released without needing further treatment. 32d/Jan. 29, 2003
While I don't have a lot of the experiences that other nder’s have had, I do still have a very unsettling feeling of darkness, such ungodly bitter cold, like a large void and an utter feeling of hopelessness. I am still a little leery to remember too much more as I was not headed for a good place. As to "why me" I feel absolutely that it was all the positive energy (all of our communities' prayers that were sent out on my behalf) that drew attention to my plight.	I remember such a peaceful/serene feeling for the few days following surgery, but I just blew it off to the morphine pump--and boy were they encouraging me to use it. Well, I can't think of much else right now except for the wonderfully positive effect this has had on my life.	Confusing, yes but, God for the fist time in 20 years, IT'S GREAT TO BE ALIVE. 33d/Feb. 2, 2003
Drowned. I (my soul or spirit) entered a tunnel of bright greenish light and felt completely serene, welcome, at the right place. The wall of the tunnel consisted of a dynamic spiral of greenish light. I had to travel light years and certainly was not in contact with the other side immediately. There was no communication at first. I must have stayed under water at least 15 minutes before I was taken out. Comrades trained in First Aid tried artificial respiration but failed. A medical doctor concluded clinical death of heart and brain.	An ambulance was called for transportation to a hospital. My comrades refused to accept my death and restarted their efforts to reanimate me. I heard my girl friend strongly call me back but I did not want to re-enter my blue body that I had seen lying down there on the white tiles. Then I got a message 'from above' to return and do what was in stock for me. I was given very clear instructions how to live my life and never, never do this again.	Spontaneously I began to breathe again. The great difference is that after a NDE KNOWING has come in the place of BELIEVING / SUPPOSING /GUESSING. It sounds perhaps hypocritical, but I feel I am above all religions. I see religions as an attempt to create heaven or a connection with above, the creator and the use of rites to make it easier to achieve that connection. Every religion and science is a restriction of the free mind. It is so simple: open up and the direct connection is there.	Maybe it is not so simple and one has to die first. Well that's worth it! Even today I can re-enter that tunnel at will and spend some time 'over there'. My wife notices my leaving my body as a uncontrolled shock, somewhat like in a seizure. I can acquire any knowledge and wisdom regarding humanity, society, science as well as individual people and use that in my own life.	This knowledge may have to do with things that are about to happen, but I cannot change fate. I can only help people at that moment and after it happened because I am prepared and know the meaning of it. There usually is some 'key' to the use of that knowledge. →
It is understood that things are being developed and will come thru at the proper time via somebody's mind (invention, inspiration). A true enrichment is what I learned about former lives and the friends over there I can discuss essential life questions with. Of practical use is the service to anyone.	I can ask questions for them and pass on the answers like a medium. I feel this NDE was necessary for me and I love it, it made my life rich by unselfishness and whole by giving all of myself. 34d/Feb. 16, 2003
I was resting when I very suddenly left my body. It was very sudden. I mean, I didn't hang around looking at my physical body or anything. Just one minute I was in my body and next I was in this place that was hard to explain. It was a nothing place with light fog or mist, I guess you could say.	I felt fine...calm, not scared at all, just kind of interested in where I was. Then out of the mist comes the pastor of my church and I was sooooo glad to see him! I was overjoyed to see him. He was a wonderful man and everyone loved him.	And I said, "Oh, D____! I'm so glad to see you! How are you?" But he seemed very upset and had a very worried face and began waving his arms around and he was just acting frantic. So I said, "Aren't you glad to see me? I've missed you so much since you died last summer!"	And then it hit me and I said, "If you're dead and I'm here with you, then..." And he started nodding his head frantically. Just as suddenly I slammed back into my body. 35d/March 18, 2003
The one thing that I do remember from this, and why I consider this to be a NDE for me, is during the split second when I was going through the accident and falling all over the place, my mind was somewhere outside the body. I felt no pain and was very relaxed at that point of time. My whole life flashed before me in those few seconds. I remembered things that happened with me a long time back and I remembered every detail about them. But the most remarkable thing is that I never felt afraid during this.	I was very much relaxed. It was almost like as if I was a spectator watching someone else getting involved in an accident. Every mistake that I had done in my life, knowingly and unknowingly flashed before me. Everyone who had come in contact with me, I saw all of their faces and also felt a realizations for all my acts. I also remember seeing a light but not very clearly.	I opened my eyes and saw some villagers trying to help me. I was not sure who they were, and the first thing I asked them was, "Was I alive or dead?" When they told me that I was alive, I again slipped back to unconsciousness, but this time I clearly saw the light and also heard, "It's not your time." Then I woke up, taken to a hospital and was treated over there.	But now I know that death is not a deep sleep, you are very much awake after you die and very much alert. Today death is just like life to me, the only difference being the place, which will change once you die. 36d/March 25, 2003
I was knocked out, but I could see a small white light surrounded by darkness. My life then flashed before my eyes. Even things I never remembered. I kept hearing voices too. I heard and saw my friend trying to wake me up. I felt like I opened my eyes, but he kept asking me to open them, so I was convinced I was dead. Then, I felt like I was asleep again. And finally I woke up. 37d/April 23, 2003
Childhood NDE's. At the age of six, I contracted a severe case of rheumatic fever. I recall vividly a series of what I later came to think were forms of NDE’s. There were a number of them, but I cannot recall the exact number. Each was quite similar to the next. Each experience began with a deep, rhythmic, loud "roaring" sound. Each pulse of the sound was at an interval of about one second. The sound would grow louder and louder and then suddenly I would be "sucked" into a black tunnel. Each time I was in a sitting position and traveling backwards at what seemed to be incredible speed. I saw no light (I WAS "sitting backwards"), but felt and heard a cold wind.	After what seemed to be a long (interminable to a little kid) time, my "direction" was reversed and I hurtled back into my body (usually my chest) with a thump. 2. Kundalini "Explosion" I call this an explosion, rather than an awakening, because I realize in retrospect that the kundalini experience had been ongoing for a number of years. One night in June 1997, I felt an "electric shock" travel from my tailbone up my spine and erupt in brilliant light in my head.	Instantly, the pain in my feet and back was gone. The effects of this awakening were prolonged and continue to this day to one extent or another. I won't go into a lot of detail, but here are some points. a) I began to "see" a progression of past lives. These were usually from the dual point of view of the person whose life I was viewing and from my own present perspective. b) I saw "runes"---some traditional, some unknown, in motion and in 3D and knew how they were to be interpreted.	c) I had physical changes. For example, I had hot rushes up my spine and for two years had a 5-inch wide red itchy "stripe" up my back. I virtually stopped sweating even in extreme heat, whereas before, I would break into drenching sweats when the temperature was in the high 70s. I slept much more than normal. When I was awake, it was difficult for me to stay out of an altered state. My libido increased dramatically.	d) I found that my beliefs were forever altered. A skeptic, I was unable to remain so when I personally experienced many things that I had scoffed at. e) I found myself psychically "traveling"--more mental projections rather than out of body, although I have had a few of those. f) I got reams of channeled material, which was quite enlightening to me. →
g) My perception of energy movement increased dramatically, and I felt as if I could manipulate it. h) I went through a period where I seemed to be a conduit for unconditional love. This was somewhat disconcerting to me, as I, personally, felt no emotion, and yet people (strangers) flocked to me, smiled, gave me things, asked advice, and so on. i) I became a physical empath, i.e., I began to feel other people's physical pain and discomfort. This was uncannily accurate. The ability to do this extended to online and telephone encounters.	The situation grew so marked that it caused me to avoid crowds, or even small gatherings. This situation continues to the present day, although it waxes and wanes. 3. The "Void" Experiences. I fell into an altered state and found myself traveling into a dark Void. Within this Void, there was only me and I was God. There was no "other." The darkness surrounding me was absolute, and yet it was not empty.	The Void seemed pregnant with probability as if every event that ever was or ever will be was contained within it. I found the experience to be completely acceptable while I was in the Void. I had no emotion or fear. Only being and knowing. Afterwards, however, when I emerged, I was overwhelmed. I cried for three days because there was no other, and I desperately wanted there to be other.	4. I found myself telling my family, "I can't do this anymore. I want to die." I felt as if I were "skating" on a revolving undulating surface, which was much like the surface of a warped phonograph record. As I revolved on the periphery of this surface, I had a very odd feeling which I would characterize as extremely unpleasant, but not painful.	I cannot describe the feeling; there are just no words for it. Then I suddenly was naked and about an inch tall. I was standing in front of a huge blue door, which was slightly ajar. A brilliant yellow-white light was coming from the space beyond the door. At that point, I "knew" that if I stepped into the light I would die. →
I stood there for a time and then tiptoed past the door. I "remember" being in the room in the light. I "grew" to normal height as I entered. While there, a being (just light) handed me a glass bowl with a white flower floating in it. I looked at the bowl and as I did I had thoughts of my family and dear friends. I handed the bowl back, turned and left the room and the light. 38d/April 23, 2003
I was unconscious for three days. During the time I was unconscious, I remember being in a place, where it seemed peaceful and I encountered these beings. The beings told me that I had to go back, that I had things to do back on earth. My Father died when I was 11 years old, and I sensed his presence. It seemed to me that there was a separation between me and where my father was, an abyss? When I regained consciousness I was telling everyone about my experience. 39d/May 9, 2003
I "passed out." During this period I went to a place which was very loving. All communication was telepathic. There was a complete dialogue between myself and this unknown source. I "saw/understood" my life’s purpose and how easy it was to achieve. I also knew that death was not an unpleasant place but just another realm.	I was asked whether I wanted to "go back and continue what I had started" and I emphatically said "of course." I woke briefly in an ambulance and then in the local trauma unit. 40d/May 15, 2003
I was sleeping on my couch one afternoon. I woke up to find myself rising to the ceiling. I knew my body was still on the couch. Another time I was sleeping, I rolled over, and pushed myself up with one arm, like you are getting out of bed...as I did this I could see my real body lay there.	Another time I was staying the night with my mother. It was late at night, I was very tired, the spare bed was in the basement. I remember feeling apprehensive about going to sleep. It was like I knew something weird was going to happen.	As soon as I was in a deep sleep, I woke up and could see a deformed baby like creature on my chest. I thought it was stealing my breath. I could not move or breathe. In my mind, I thought for sure I was dying. Then, I thought the word "Jesus" until I could say it with my mouth.	Then I could breathe again. In all there have been dozens of these experiences, each one a little different. Some I would say felt very evil. But others left me with a feeling of energy, like I had been re-charged. 41d/May 18, 2003
What I remember of my near nde is when I opened my eyes I was already there (no tunnels). Everything was a neon white, (no landscape), with small crowds of people (?) communicating with each other. I was very calm and relaxed with no thoughts whatsoever about events that were occurring elsewhere. No thought of anything in fact apart from feeling very peaceful.	Figures were only visible from the waist up but they were in a bright light. One figure approached me and asked politely, "What are you doing here?" Telepathy. I suddenly wondered what I was doing there. Next thing I knew a nurse woke me up to tell me I had a girl. 42d/May 21, 2003
I started to go under the water and panic set in, I went down for the third time. Shortly after that all of a sudden I was at peace, I felt like I was floating on a cloud or something. It was bright and friendly. The next thing I saw was my life it passed by as if I was watching a movie. I kept getting younger and younger. At the point I was seeing my self as a toddler, the next moment I was pulled out of the water by my aunt.	There was in fact another time. I was trapped between the car door and a car at the bottom of the driveway. I couldn't breathe and the next thing I saw was Christ as if floating in the sky above. I was thinking at the moment, this was it. 43d/May 27, 2003
I was in ICU all hooked up to heart monitor and respirator. I was very awake. I had a very odd feeling sweep through my body; it started at my feet and moved up. I knew I was in trouble. I tried to scream. I saw a woman by my bed. I then hit the pillow. I could hear my heart monitor flat line. My breathing stopped. I started going into a tunnel.	I could hear the doctor screaming and a shock rip through my body. I continued down the tunnel. I heard the doctor say, “We are losing him." I felt no fear, no pain just serenity like I never knew. The shock was distant and could feel as I started to disconnect from my body.	I know I saw my dad who has been dead for many years. He told me I had to go back my work was not done. I saw a bright light and I awoke in the hospital. 44d/June 2, 2003
At the time I could hear voices. And just see white. I had taken an overdose. And I have always assumed the voices I have heard were my family around my hospital bed. However, since then, I have on occasion experienced severe déjà vu. And on numerous occasions realize that a moment I am experiencing I have dreamt before. 45d/June 4, 2003
After closing my eyes, the next recollection was myself being in the presence of, in the arena of, enveloped in, PURE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Re-reading this, it sounds so lame. How can I explain? For all these years I just have not been able to describe this to fully honour its incredibleness, it's ISNESS. A communication occurred, through instantaneous osmosis, rather than our human verbalization.	The communication concerned my pre-natal chosen human life's work as well as some basic universal laws, which I had overlooked in my human form. Then it was time for me to return. I did not want to return to my human form. I wanted to stay enveloped in that phenomenal dimension of unconditional love. I argued.	I shook my head at my nerve. I was gently overruled. I was still communicating my desire to stay home (for I felt I was home) when I received the communication that it was time for me to return. And God then gently "placed" his Energy at my thymus, and I was on my way back to my human form.	I found myself crying out "nooo" as I glided backwards through the Universe. My "nooo" instantaneously changed to silent awe as I observed my breathtaking and radiant surroundings. I joyfully swirled earthbound and then, alas, the journey was much too short.	I arrived back into my human form with an ear piercing crash. 46d/Sept. 8, 2002
I saw the ambulance crew try to revive me. I could hear what they were saying. I was also not alone, there was a being behind me coaching me as what to say to my brother. I watched as they put me on the stretcher and carried me down the stairs. They were hurrying, and my body was flopping around. I thought that was funny, until I saw my face. I looked peaceful. Now I was afraid. I turned to the being and he pointed for me to look, as I did I saw the ambulance driving away.	I saw the doctor put a tube in my mouth. I couldn’t hear any more now but, the being wanted me to watch. I felt a pull, a strong pull from beyond where I was. I didn’t want to go. The being pointed and no words but I could hear it speak, “Go now, you are not done." The pull hurt like being slammed into a wall. I woke up 3 days latter strapped to the bed.	Dr. said I was having night tremors. There is no way to put into words what I was feeling or what I wanted. I was above my body watching people trying to bring me back. I wasn’t sure just what was happening. The light wasn’t bright, more of a glow. I didn’t go to it, it was just there and comfortable, relaxing. I didn’t get scared until I saw my face, I looked dead.	I was pronounced dead at my house, on the way to hospital. I was worked on at hospital. They found a pulse. Inserted a tube. I keep wondering why I’m still here, and what purpose I have to fill. 47d/June 2, 2003
[Childbirth.] Suddenly there was tremendous pressure and pain, and then I felt as if I were flying backwards through darkness, like I was slipping out through the top of my head. The next thing I remember is hovering up at the ceiling, looking down on the whole scene. The air was warm and stuffy up there, and I remembered that heat rises and it was cold outside, so the furnace would be on.	I heard one of the nurses shouting, "Doctor, we're losing her!" My doctor snapped, "We're not going to let that happen! You just keep doing what you’re supposed to do!" As I watched, I began to feel a presence beside me. I didn't look to the side, because I didn't need to - I knew it was God.	I felt comforted and loved, and looking down on the tense events below, I realized how unimportant one life is in the grand scheme of things. I almost felt sorry for the frantic people working on me - they didn't understand the insignificance of just one life. I could see that the baby was out and she was healthy. That was all that mattered to me.	At that point, I felt a great sadness come over me as I thought of my sweet little two-year-old son at home. I wanted so much to raise my children and be a part of their lives. I had already learned so much about parenting, and I thought that nobody could do as good a job as I could with my children.	I said, "God, who's going to raise my babies?" There was a bright flash of light - like I was in the middle of a lightning bolt - and then I don't remember anything until the next day. I opened my eyes and saw bottles and IVs hanging above my bed. 48d/June 2, 2003
Just as I was put on the E.R. stretcher I heard the nurse say, “Her heart has stopped." The E.R. doctor checked me and said, “This woman is dead." I just walked through the door and I was in another land. The most wonderful and beautiful place I have ever seen. I remember standing in this street that was cobblestone but it was gold, and I looked down at my feet and just looked at my bare feet on this beautiful gold street. I walked over to one of the buildings and it was so astonishingly beautiful.	I remember taking my hand and rubbing the wall and admiring the beauty. I just stood there and rubbed it. As I began walking down the street I met people and we just knew everything. We exchanged smiles and I said I was looking for my sister and daughter. I knew they were there, it was just a matter of finding them. I was not scared. I had a peace and understanding of everything.	I had no memory of my life here. I just knew who was there and I kept on looking at this city that was in front of me. I was walking into the city. It was gold and just cast off all the light in this world. There was no sun or moon but the sky was so beautiful. There was colors of all kinds. The sky was so beautiful. I would stop every now and then and remain to look at my feet walking on this gold street.	I then would go to the walls of the buildings and rub them more, so beautiful. There were trees and water so clear. Everyone knew everyone. It was like I had been there forever. I was so happy and had this peace in me that is unexplainable. At that time I knew everything. I was at peace.	I remember just standing and looking around at this beautiful city so, so beautiful. And when I went around a corner of a building I heard my daughter call me and I was so happy I was going to see her. And then a voice said, “It's not your time yet to be here." And then I woke up. 49d/June 2, 2003
I was "dead" for eight minutes and CPR had to be performed. I remember a man in a hat. He was standing in the doorway, almost leaning a bit with his arms crossed. He was just looking at me but I could not really make out a face. He was pleasant and I felt comfortable with him. We talked, but at this point I can’t remember much of the conversation. He came and went over the next few days. I was not sleeping much because I was waiting for him.	My mother happened to be there and she told me that a pastor had come and spoke with me, and I do remember him, but they were getting confused when I spoke of the man in the hat. I would tell them about meeting with him and they would assume that I was talking about the pastor.	I spent over 40 days in the hospital. When I went home I had other visions of him but kept them to myself. I don’t know why. 50d/July 24, 2003
I dozed off. When I woke up, I saw a guy sitting at the end of my bed; I couldn't see the face. I thought it was my dad so I said, "Dad"...and he looked around...He was faceless! The guy had NO FACE! I screamed. He got up and said to me, "Come with me," and put his hand forward. I was screaming and refused to go, but to my amazement I was moving. We both started flying and up we went. I realized I was up near the hospital roof and could see myself lying on the bed down below.	Next thing we were in a dark eerie place. I was standing in a pew with a few people. Then someone pushed the two ladies in the front in a ball of fire. The guy who pushed them was so tall, dark and very scary. We moved to another pew and two people were pushed to a BIG SHARK who started eating them.	I saw big glasses breaking, etc. Then next thing I know is I was back on the hospital roof. I could see lots of nurses and doctors around my body doing something. I started falling down, and in I went into my body! 51d/Aug. 11, 2003
I passed out while diving. Next I was suspended on pinkish clouds, everything was very bright. I felt better than ever before or after it. No idea of time. Next I felt I was being pulled somewhere, I resisted, did not want to go "back." I also heard female voices chant, "Come back" (in Finnish I think).	Despite my resistance I felt/heard a metallic zzzooom type of noise/sense. After this I felt hard cold tiles beneath me and heard normal voices. 52d/Aug. 11, 2003
I was sure I was going to die. That’s when I felt myself float away at about 15 feet to the right and close to the ground looking at myself on the motorcycle about 5 feet from the rear bumper of the car I was about to hit. As I see myself I notice that behind my head was my life flashing in fast motion backwards. I was able to focus on that and can remember some but most of all I remember seeing myself as a baby being held by a woman, I'm assuming is my mother.	Then actually seeing through that baby’s eyes what seemed to be what it first saw when those eyes opened up after birth. At that point I was then back on my bike and saw the car in front of me with my headlights shining on the rear of the chrome bumper. As I was just about to hit I felt myself being lifted to where I was almost standing up. Then from the impact I was going forward, which all seemed like slow motion. I saw and felt my head going through the rear windshield.	That's when everything turned black and I felt myself floating. I was able to open my eyes to see but couldn’t make out what was in front of me. Then I looked down at myself to see if I was in one piece and noticed I couldn’t see myself, but what I did see was a shadow of myself with my arms to my sides but up. As I was looking at myself I noticed I was not alone. All around me were other shapes very similar to mine and others different all moving forward.	So I looked to see where we were moving to and that’s when I saw this very bright light far away. I seemed to be in some sort of ray of light going in its direction. When I saw this light the most peaceful feeling came over me that can never be described in human words. All I wanted to do was go to the light. What seemed so far away I reached in less than a second without the feeling of movement.	As I was about to go into the light with even a more wonderful feeling, I noticed something below me and to the right. As I glanced over I noticed it was my mother's father who died years earlier looking at me waving his arms in a do not enter movement so I stopped in my tracks, like superman can do in his movies, and stared at my grandfather. →
I can't remember if he was trying to say something or not but I did not hear anything. I just knew he was telling me to stop. That’s when my vision became very bright and white but my eyes stayed open. Then my body felt different, like my weight was back. It seemed like I was trying to close my eyes from the brightness but I was actually opening them.	I remember feeling very confused about that but then my eyes opened and I saw that I was sitting on top of a car which was moving with my legs straight out and my upper body was in an upward position (sitting) with my back completely erect and my arms to my sides holding my self up.	When I saw this I tried to move but could not for a couple of seconds then slowly I could. Without questioning my self, I jumped off the car and slid into oncoming traffic watching cars swerve around me. Then I stood up and saw the bike I crashed about 80 yards away. 53d/August 29, 2003
When I had the experience: I was sitting on the bank observing and experiencing all kind'a vibes that were in the room, and I felt they were the entrance to other realities and DEFINITELY no projection of my imagination. Suddenly I was thinking: "What does it all matter? I want to go there now, experience something else..." In a flash I felt/saw my whole being and what it has experienced till then.	Maybe some kind'a of a slideshow, but actually it was more like a feeling. The next thing that happened, was that I felt powerful ethereal tornados, which in a flash made me feel like I was making a free fall, that took me with them. Then I had to look twice to believe what I saw: I was standing beside the tornado-like energies and....I was looking at my self sitting on the bank!	My skin was death-like white, I seemed dead. This scared me a lot. In the meantime a GIANT wormhole or tunnel appeared to me where I could go into. All the time there was a being with me, I realized that it always had been with me! But it was disappointed in me. I had the choice to go into that tunnel, but I felt my life would be a failure if I had chosen to do that.	Then in a flash I got REALLY scared of the situation and felt the tragedy in this all. I cried inside my self really hard and had a lot of regret and shouted I wanted to do the right thing and go back. Suddenly I was looking straight ahead to the wall...I was in my body again.	My eyes must have been as wide open as they could, so it felt. (((I lived in an apartment at the first floor (1 level up that is, not sure if first floor means; 1 level up) and the people that lived on the other side of the road could look into my apartment.))) →
The last thing I remembered in my body, it was afternoon or so and there was light. When I got back into my body it was getting dark so a lot of time must have passed. Thereby the people across the street were standing in front of the their window, looking at me, as if they were looking at me for quite some time.	For some strange reason, when I looked at them when I got back, I could hear what they were saying (!) : (woman): Should we call an ambulance? Or the police? (man): No, relax, he looks fine now, you see? 54d/Sept. 2, 2003
Was rushed to the operating room. I knew people were talking right in front of me but they sounded far away. The next thing I knew the pain was gone and I was standing on a very narrow ledge. I had the feeling that there was darkness and a void behind me. I had on a long robe and my arms were out stretched as if I was going to fly. I had the most peaceful feeling and I was overjoyed that the pain was gone.	Wind blew my hair and I felt so cool and relaxed. In front of me was a beautiful lake, the color of green/blue was overwhelming. On the surface at the horizon was a bright silver sphere with triangles projecting. It reminded me of the sunrise. From the sphere a bright silver ribbon flowed to the water's edge.	I looked down and the water was just gently lapping toward my toes, my feet were bare. I tried very hard to move forward but I was glued to the spot, I just knew if I could get to the water I would be lifted up on the water and float to the sphere.	But try I as I may I could not move my feet. The next thing I know is I wake up and I am in the ICU unit, having lost close to six pints of blood. 55d/Sept. 16, 2003
Feeling exhausted I laid down on my bed to rest. I have no idea how long I'd been lying there, but the next thing I remember was a feeling of being lifted up very quickly. Above me I could see a bright blue sky and clouds that were as white as you can imagine. The sun was shining brightly and the sky looked just beautiful. My ascent was so quick I could feel the pressure on my body and the force of the wind against me.	As I sped through the white clouds I remember saying, "Please don't drop me." I wasn't really afraid but knew that I had no control over where I was or what was happening to me. I didn't see or hear anyone or anything but the clouds and the beautiful blue sky, but somehow I knew it was God lifting me up and I was in his hands.	All at once when I said that I started to descend back to earth again at a very rapid pace. It's funny because I never felt that I stopped rising before I started to fall. It just happened. It didn't hurt but I could feel the pressure and the wind on me somewhat like feeling the gravitational pull when you are on a roller coaster.	When I woke up I was stiff and it took a few seconds before I could move. 56d/Sept. 28, 2003
When I was in hospital, I remember my mother shaving my face but my mother was supposed to be in Brisbane (1600kms away). I do not recall asking what happened but my mother tells me I kept asking everyone what happened. So when I woke up, I didn't ask any questions because I knew the answers. I just couldn't remember ever asking anyone anything. This is probably because of all the drugs I was given.	While I was recovering in the hospital, the ambulance drivers came in to see me. They told me to buy a lottery ticket and said that the chance for an out of hospital cardiac arrest survival was one in a thousand. On top of that, if it happened six months earlier, I wouldn't have made it to the hospital. Back then ambulances did not have defibrillators.	My thanks go to the millionaire, who suffered something similar, and therefore donated the money for defibrillators to be installed in ambulances. I do not know how to word this next part but I will do my best. When I read a book, just before I flip the page, I generally know what the next two or three words are. Also I often say things at exactly the same time as other people (jinx).	We watched a home video of my sister and her boyfriend of their holidays together. In a part of the video, her boyfriend made an obscure comment on what I can't remember. But I do recall saying the exact same comment at the exact same time as he said it on camera while we were watching.	Maybe I think the same way he does, or maybe it's psychic phenomena. 57d/Oct. 2, 2003
I went into cardiac arrest and was technically "dead" for 5 min. 52 sec. I was suddenly above the operating theatre <teaching> screaming, "Don't do it!! Don't bring me back, please!!" Allow me to divert for a moment: I was born a "totally awake" psychic. I saw and spoke with supposedly "dead people", including the being known as Jesus, all of my life. I meditated regularly, and prayed regularly. I was accustomed to being out of my body frequently while doing this. I think this is why there was no "tunnel/white light" in my experience.	I was already familiar with and comfortable on the "other side". Suddenly I was in a round Greek style temple that was not roofed. Jesus was before me and I was aware that there were 70 other people there to work with me. There was a mist that hid their faces from me, though I could see Jesus quite clearly. I was aware that each of them was working with me in my soul's growth and various karmic matters I had elected to work on during this body's sojourn.	Jesus informed me that I had completed the work I had come in to do, and had "channeled" the 3 souls who would affect the future <my>. I could now stay with these beings, or I could take on another assignment and return to the earth plane. I don't usually make hasty decisions, and "he" knew that. I told him that was ridiculous. I would need time to consider the pros and cons of both scenarios, and that earthly body wasn't going to last for long.	He laughed, snapped his fingers and my three children were standing before. I instantly knew that I had the "keys" that would unlock their memories when it was time for them to awaken, but that their father did not. If I opted to stay, they would have to come into the body again in another life to fulfill their destinies. I look at Jesus and said, "That's really unfair!!	You know I can't leave them to come back again. This is emotional blackmail!" At which he cocked and eyebrow at me and laughed again. Then he responded, "But you do want them to succeed this time, don't you?" I replied, "Yes, you know I do. But I have a condition. If I go back, I want to be allowed to heal people. →
Not just their bodies, but their souls too. I want to awaken them to their soul's potential and Truth." Jesus smiled and answered, "As you desire, so shall it be." I awakened to my anesthesiologist cursing up a storm. 58d/Nov. 11, 2003
The last thing I remembered was grabbing the paramedic working on me by the front of his coat. I said in a gasping whisper, "Help me, I can't breathe." There was something wrong I remember telling myself, for a moment I couldn't realize what it was that seemed wrong. Then it hit me: “I just died, I just died,” I said to myself. “Oh no I just died!” I had a feeling of despair, but that feeling of despair lasted only a brief moment. The feeling of despair was replaced with a feeling of knowing that my death was exactly what should be happening right then.	I thought to myself, "I am supposed to be dead right this very instant." And as I said that to myself I felt as if I was looking down to my left, in my mind's eye that is. I had no tangible body that I could see. I was looking down to the left at what I would call a representation of Earthly life. Not exactly a vision of the Earth from space, but a very similar kind of vantage point. I acknowledged this view for a moment, then turned my gaze up and to the right.	As I was gazing up and to the right, my orientation felt like I was now facing forward, going up and forward. I remember feeling happy and comforted by the thought of going this way. On the way up and forward I began to see little movie clips appear in front of my gaze. The little clips were scenes I had forgotten about from childhood, like me and brother Dale in the backyard talking and laughing. These clips went very quickly, and they made me feel happy.	The next sensation I had was leveling off from my up and forward movement. I felt a presence next to me now. I could not see anyone but somehow I knew someone was there. I felt as if I was now standing at an entrance to a dark room. The room that I was looking into was black and dark, yet I could make out subtle distinct shapes in the middle of the room.	I could still feel the presence of someone next to me, almost as if they were mentally telling me where to look next. I found myself compelled by this guide to look at the figures that were now becoming more clearly seen in the middle of the room. I could now see that they looked like a choir of black robed beings, seated on tiers like a choir stands on when they perform. →
These beings were not looking back at me, instead they seemed to all be looking the other way. Just as I thought to myself, "I wonder who they are?" They all turned toward me at the same time, a powerful light beamed out from where their eyes and mouth would be. They had no faces, just bright beaming light streaming at me, through me, into me. At that very instance I felt a powerful exchange take place between me and the beings of light.	I felt as if all the answers to all the questions I had ever had wanted answered, were answered simultaneously. It wasn't like I knew any one specific answer, more like I just knew everything there was to know, ever. I also had the feeling that as I received this knowledge from the beings of light,	I in turn gave to them all the unique experiences that I had accumulated from my time alive on earth. They gave me what they had, and I gave them what I had to contribute. It was very pleasing to do this exchange. I felt completely free and content. After the exchange with the beings of light, I felt myself float up and over the room.	I now felt like I was warm and very loved and very happy to be there. I felt my sense of self begin to expand, like I was dissolving into the warmth of this reality, becoming a piece of a very wonderful whole. I wanted for nothing, except to feel like this forever.	And just as soon as I felt like this, I found myself back at the entrance to the room of the beings of light. Something felt wrong; I wondered what had happened. I felt a presence of my former guide meeting another entity in front of the beings of lights choir stand. →
They seemed to be having a disagreement about something; I had hoped that it was not about my being here. I couldn't tell exactly what the problem was but I sensed there was a very serious one. I had the sense that I was being brought back to life back on the earthly plane, and that this entity talking to my guide was not happy about this turn of events.	I was beginning to get a bad feeling about the whole scene taking place in front of me. I was indeed being brought back to life on the earthly plane, and I was to leave this wonderful place. I felt that this entity was not happy at all with the doctors who were saving my life, and neither was I.	I wanted to stay, but I knew I would be going back. And back I went. The next thing I am aware of is the beeping of my heart monitor. 59d/Nov. 11, 2003
I was two or three months old only when my heart stopped beating. All went calm, soft and dark and I felt more than fine. I felt at peace. Then suddenly the doctors or staff started giving me a heart massage and it hurt so much. I wanted them to stop. And then I was back and I didn’t feel fine anymore. 60d/Nov. 11, 2003
Then everything went black. The next thing I knew, I was looking down at a little boy lying on a kitchen table, and an old woman bending over me. I recognized the old woman; she was Mrs. S (I later learned the S's were Russians who escaped Stalin). I recognized the clothes the boy had on, the same clothes I had on. ... Then I noticed my mother crying hysterically, and my dad was standing back silently.	The old lady said, "His heart is not working". She said, “I'll try to breathe life into him." Then I somehow turned on my back and began to ascend, I went right through the roof of the kitchen and up above the roof. Although it was night, I could see everything, neighbor's houses, etc. I felt wonderful, light, peaceful.	I wanted to keep floating upward forever! That's when I encountered two "beings of Light". There was no form to them, just ovals radiating a soft peaceful white light. The spirit on the left said, "You can't go any farther, you have to go back." I told the spirit "No, I don't want to go back. It's not what it was supposed to be."	The spirit, even though speaking in a soft female voice strongly repeated, "No! You have to go back." I again argued that I didn't want to go back. Then the spirit on the right, in an even gentler tone said, "No Joe, you have to go back. There's something you have to do.	It's going to be all right, you're in a different place now." That's when I started floating back downward and re-entered my body, opened my eyes, and started to breathe again. 61d/Nov. 11, 2003
I was in full cardiac arrest ... . The nurse told my husband and parents that there was 99 percent chance I would not make it, and if I did I would be a vegetable. When I was seizing and posturing I remember being next to my body and looking at my toes seeing how tense I was. I was trying to calm myself. My sister gave me a titty twister as she pronounced me dead. I opened my eyes and said "This isn't heaven." I do not have much of a memory of my life before this; I lost a lot.	They say I am completely different. I do remember being with three others, one in the middle was a little above the two, on one side was my brother, who died at 11days, the other was my grandpa. I don't know how we got there, but it was such a beautiful color blue surrounding, not ground but not like we were hovering. We talked a lot, but I can’t remember our mouths moving.	I paid [attention] mostly to my brother, his clothes, his hair, how tall, but cannot remember the one in the middle. I know he said a lot to me, but I don't know what. My sister says when I first opened my eyes I said "God says I'm a ••••• and won’t let me stay." 62d/Dec. 11, 2003
After the car hit my car, I rose above the accident and said, "My God, I can't die yet; I still haven't finished my finals!" (I was attending Chiropractic College.) Archangel Michael came to me and said "You have another school to go to; don't worry, you will continue on with your college." He escorted me to a magnetic tunnel where Jeshua (Jesus) was waiting for me, who comforted me. I then found myself at the doorstep of a type of school, where there were a few students learning geometric shapes and physics with the accompanying healing energy involved.	I thought the better way would be to go directly to the energy that is involved in the healing, direct from Source. At this point, Mother Mary came in, and motioned for me to follow Her. She asked my thoughts about what we were learning, I told her it would be best to go right to Source for the healing energy. She said she had something for me to look at, so I followed Her out of the class.	I first sat in a healing chair to help my physical body heal on earth. Then we went to a vault that held information from souls’ life cycles and growth. I was told I could have access to this information whenever I desired, it was important with the process of uncovering the dense dramas on earth. We also looked into a type of screen, that reminded me of a TV screen, and I saw a gathering of people in a field.	They were all releasing the density that held back Unconditional Love, then holding the Light within and living within Peace above the dramas. After one man cleared himself out, another individual came up to him who was also cleared, then they shook hands. Both bringing the Reality of Peace into their creative engagement, they both shared Light instead of any fear thoughts or actions.	At this point, the Light streamed through them, all the density was then released into the Light. "It's gone! It's all gone!" I exclaimed! “I can see how this works, but who will believe me? I'm a nobody, my dad was a carpenter in Washington and I'll be a small town chiropractor. I think you should get somebody else! Besides that, I'm a bit shy!" 63d/Dec. 11, 2003
Grandfather dying. As I sat reading in a chair at the foot of his bed, his breathing became heavy and sporadic, he was hyperventilating. I turned my head and looked him in the eyes (actually the third eye, where you can see both eyes at the same time) and said "I'll breathe for you Dad." I speeded my breathing up to his rate and slowly slowed it back down - he was with me and I was, literally, breathing for him. We were in perfect sync. As he calmed down he motioned, with his eyes, for me to close my eyes.	I just knew that was what he wanted. I asked, "You want me to close my eyes?" He motioned yes. I turned my head back and rested it against the back of the chair and closed my eyes. I felt, rather than saw my father in my consciousness. That is the only way to explain it. There was a figure, of sorts… like a vague outline, but I felt my father. I knew he wanted me to take him or help him.	I said, verbally, "I can't go all the way, but I'll go as far as I can." We then 'moved' through what was like a tunnel, the walls were like a bluish-gray smoke gently moving clockwise. I was behind my father, following him. We came to an area that I can only describe as a huge wall of purple and black swirling plasma. It rose up in front of us. We stood on a dark floor, the tunnel was behind us and we were blocked by this huge wall.	The purple was the predominant color and the black was more like the outline of the purple swirls. We walked along the wall but found no way through, over, under or around it. The feelings of this wall were confusion and chaos. It was swirling at a steady but chaotic pace and was quite intimidating but not frightening. More frustrating.	My father had only gotten this far - he couldn't get past this wall. That's what he wanted me to help him with. I said, "No wonder you can't go, this is a mess!" Then I felt this sudden conscious awareness of what was happening and fear flooded me - a fear so shocking that I "flew" my eyes open and sat straight up in my chair! →
I looked over at my father and his eyes flew open. He looked at me as if I had hurt him more deeply than was humanly possible. I felt so ashamed, shocked and sorry, deeply - so very deeply sorry. His breathing became faster and agitated. I said, "It wasn't long enough, I opened my eyes too soon. I'm sorry..." He softened and I took control of the breathing again. (The whole time the breathing was the predominant sound; it was like a gauge or a line and I used it but I'm not sure how.) He again motioned for me to close my eyes and we started over again.	This time when we reached the purple/black wall there were specks of orange dotted through it. My father was looking for his mother. He was walking up and down the wall like a lost child calling "Mama, Mama." I started looking for her too; it made sense for her to come and help him - more sense than me doing it. I called "Granmommy Florence" (I was quite young when she died and only remember her one time; I tried to feel her but I couldn't grasp it.)	"Granmommy Florence" it seemed that we called and looked for a long time. I started getting angry. I didn't want my father stuck here and his body was almost dead. Why didn't she come and get him?! Where was she?? I hollered "Granmommy Florence, come and get him! He's suffered enough - don't make him suffer anymore." I felt so helpless that my demand was more of a plea. Then, from somewhere inside of me, I heard "orange."	I remembered reading something about orange but I suddenly knew the only way through the purple was through the orange. I said to my father, "Come on, we have to follow the orange." He came with me like a lost child would go with someone they trusted to take them home. The innocence I felt from him made me feel very protective and real.	I wasn't sure how to follow the orange, there were only specks here and there so I picked a speck and 'moved' toward it. As I did I saw more orange, so I moved toward that, and I kept doing this until I, we, were on an orange path. The path rose up out of the purple/black swirls. As we moved along the path we came into a vast horizon of soft, warm pastel yellow and green whips that curved all around us like a canopy. →
The purple/black was below and behind us but the yellow/green whips were above and around us. Like we were rising up into a huge dome. It was so vast and warm, safe, calm and lightly peaceful. It seemed as if we were on a moving belt going toward a flat, swirling, circular door. Like an inverted funnel but it, the opening, was flat and was in the middle of this vast space we had entered. The circular door was a soft white light mixed with light gray shadows where the light overlapped from the swirling motion. There was a figure off to the left side of this door.	To me it looked transparent, the color of liquid coffee held up to the light. It was the shape of a tall, thin person in a long, hooded robe. It seemed more transparent in what would be the chest area and I could not see a face or any detailed features. I know my father saw his mother. I felt his joy, his sudden childish freedom. The freedom to express the abundant love and joy that only innocent children seem to have.	I was overwhelmed with a love and understanding that words cannot describe. A love of being rather than having, an understanding of everything in nothing. A warmth that cleansed the very fibers of my soul. I watched as my father moved in front of me (up to now he had been following me) and moved like a child running toward this figure. I was still going forward but at a much slower pace. As I came closer to the door I felt as if I was shedding all pain, all worry.	I was home. At last I was at the place I had been looking for for so long. I had no reason to go back, nothing mattered now, I knew who I was and more importantly what I am and am to be. Then, as my father reached the figure, a harsh, loud knock rang out, then another and another. I heard, what I thought was my father (I'm not so sure it was now) say "Lynn, go answer the door" I said "No. I'm not leaving".	Again the voice said, much sterner this time, "Lynn! go and answer the door!" Then, for some reason, I had the feeling that I was eavesdropping on a very private moment and I felt uncomfortable. I said "Ok, but I'm coming right back." Still seeing my father, the entire scene in my head, I got up out of the chair and opened the door of the hospital room. →
It was as if I was above myself looking through a funnel at the nurse in the hall. "I want to get his blood pressure… is it Ok?" she asked. The hospital staff had been real good about not disturbing him without our OK. I looked at her and tears started streaming down my face, "He's going now" I said. "I'm with him, he's just found his mother, he's going now!" The nurse starred at me for a moment then said, "Are you alright? Is there someone I can call? Can you handle this?"	"Are you kidding!!" I said. "It's beautiful, I'm with him. Of course I can handle this." Then she said "I knew you were psychic. I knew you were." Then she started to tell me how her mother died and she wasn't there but she knew when it happened… I didn't want to be rude but I said "I have to go back... I want to be with him." She squeezed my arm, and said if I needed anything she would be right out side the door.	I closed the door, went back to the chair, my fathers breathing was so slow and calm. I sat back and closed my eyes… I was back on the orange path but I was further back from the door then when I left. My father and the figure were just entering the light. My father said, "Bye honey, and thank you." As they entered the light, his breathing slowed; I knew the breathing would stop. I watched them move further into the light and heard the final breath of my father’s body.	I just sat in the chair. I left the place we were, I was back here, and I waited for the silence. Hoping for another breath but knowing he was gone. After a few seconds, I looked at his body. He was definitely gone. I went to the door and told the nurse. She came in and confirmed that he was dead. She called the supervising nurse and she noted the time.	The supervisor asked me if I was all right and I just looked at her and said "I went with him. I watched him… I showed him where to go!" She said, "Do you know what a blessing that is?" and I couldn't speak. I know now that "hell" is the fear that holds us. "HELL" is being stuck between the physical world and the next world. →
A couple of hours after I got home from the hospital, I laid down, closed my eyes and was back at the purple/black wall. It's funny but it wasn't so intimidating this time. I looked behind it and found that it was a curtain. I slipped behind the curtain and went up the path and I saw my father much farther into the light. I wanted to go, but the curtain was suddenly in front of me and I was told, "Not yet."	I'm still trying to understand how and why I was able to go with my father. From what I have read and tried to research, this is not a very common thing, though I'm not the first person to have an experience like this. ... I now KNOW we can ALL go home. 64d/Dec. 11, 2003
I had three surgeries in 10 days. Then one day I was trying to lay flat in bed but found it quite thorny to do, so tears of desperation flooded my eyes. I closed them, feeling very tired of hurting. Right at that moment I heard the voice of my nanny, clear as if she would be by my side (she had remained in Spain because she was quite old), and was saying: "[Jane], you are better now." I opened my eyes thinking that somebody was talking to me and I had made up the rest, but the hospital room was empty except for me.	I closed my eyes again, ready to keep on with my endeavor. Then at 11 o’clock, I saw the most beautiful man I have ever encountered in my existence. He was dressed in dark, very elegant wear; his shoes were of patent leather, and his white, ruffled shirt shone like the sun light. I fell in ecstasy and said: "You are God... I want to kiss Your feet!" As I saw myself kneeling before His feet, that shone as well, they were bare.	Something very strange occurred: next I was getting out of my body through my head, horizontally, as if I were crawling inside a tube, tummy up, helping my advance with my hands. Once outside that... cylinder, I stood up and saw my own body in front of me, lying on the bed. I felt MARVELOUS. Immeasurable joy inundated all my being. I felt no pain, no sorrows, nothing but wellness and delight as I had never experienced before.	I looked around, and in the Light, I could see every thing as through a very delicate sheer curtain. By the feet of my bed, my husband and my three children cried, looking at what seemed my dead body. I wanted to console them and instantly found myself floating towards them. I caressed their faces, kissed them and told them not to cry for me, that I was fine and perfectly happy and well.	But I could see they didn't sense me or hear me. Right at that moment I felt sucked back into my physical body, and then realized that again all was dark, very heavy, and the pain of my body was unbearable. My first word, only one, was: "S...!" My husband said: "I beg you pardon?" 65d/Dec. 29, 2003
"Watch out!" We scrambled to get out of his way, but the next thing I felt was a crushing pain, so intense it was unbearable. When the pain suddenly stopped, I will never forget having the thought, "So this is what it's like to die!" It was as if I had suddenly found the answer to some great mystery. I had a smile on my face, although I was no longer a 'body'. My soul was smiling. I went 'up'. I remember just feeling like a 'head' looking around.	No body. I was unable to go beyond the layer of white that surrounded me, white was everywhere. Then, in the distance I saw some white robed figures, faceless, hunched-over like, and walking in a single row coming towards me. I couldn't move towards them. I just had to stay there and wait for them. No one talked. It was like 'thought transfer' or something.	Then, I realized that the person in front was my beloved Uncle, my closest deceased relative, and behind him was my grandmother, his mother. I was SO EXCITED to see Uncle. I wanted to run up to him and hug him, but I couldn't move. He came within ten feet of me, stopped and shook his head. He told me it wasn't my time and I had to go back.	He turned and my grandmother followed, still in their 'line' of white hooded robes. Next thing I knew I felt like someone had taken a knife and sliced my chest open left to right. That first breath was a killer. I was so angry, mad, at coming back. 66d/Jan. 3, 2004
I remember the out-of-body experience well. I was several ceiling heights above myself in the E.R., watching them working on me, trying to get my heart to beat again. Voices were echo-y and distant, but I remember a sense of calmly being there watching myself dying and not being concerned by it. Then it was as if I were floating backwards away from the room, into a tunnel of white illuminating warmth. It was nearly orgasmic it felt so good throughout my body.	There was a feeling of acceleration towards the source of the light, and I was so very glad to be going to it. Then, almost as if something were pulling me from below, the other way, I felt a deceleration and slowing, then a reverse direction away from the light, and this really confused me.	I felt really cheated, really wanted to go all of the way to that light but now I couldn't. The next thing I know I am in the E.R. 67d/March 4, 2004
I was driving the family station wagon in the mountains in December, it was starting to rain and I had not been driving long. The engine died and the car locked up and I lost control. The car went end over end twice and rolled about 7 times. The witness to the accident said he did not know how anyone survived the accident. My 15 year old brother and his friend were also in the front seat. None of us had our seat belts on, but I was the only one injured.	While the car was rolling, at first everything went black and it got very cold. All of a sudden it became very warm, a nice warm, and a light started to appear before me. In the light my father started to appear to me and seemed to hold out his hand, as if to motion me to come with him. It was such a nice feeling that I wanted to go.	My father was smiling as if to say everything was alright. My father appeared to me only from the waist up, and there was this warm light all around him. But after a couple of minutes his image disappeared and I realized where I was. I only received a bad gash behind my left ear. I did [not] have to even stay in the hospital except to get stitches. To this day I cannot explain what happened. 68d/March 4, 2004
I couldn’t breathe. A tingling feeling came over my chilled shaken body. The tingling grew so loud, that the sound drowned out all of the hospital noises. I knew I was about to die. My last thought was that I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to my son, husband, and family. Then everything was silent. Next, I briefly was above the bed looking down. Just as I realized that was my lifeless body in the bed below, my thoughts were abruptly distracted. Suddenly, I was pulled into complete darkness.	Amidst the total darkness, I smelled an indescribable odor. At about the same time, my fluid-soaked body felt coolness in the air. I remember wishing that I had a coat to wear to keep me warm. Then I began to feel myself moving upward. As I was being pulled upward, I began to feel as if I was in a tunnel, an endless, pitch-black tunnel. The speed at which I rose began to increase, faster and faster.	It seemed swifter than anything imaginable or possible. As I continued to speed upwards through the seemingly endless darkness, there were puffs of clouds brushing across my eyelids and cheeks. It felt nice, like cool dew. That’s when my eyes looked upward. There I saw such a magnificently, wondrous light which was white and pure. At first it seemed very far away.	One glance at this bright, splendid light made me feel safe, loved, and serene. I didn’t feel pain or sadness, just an overwhelming peaceful love that grew more intense the closer I got to it. This white light was extraordinarily bright. It was almost blinding. I felt myself squinting just so I could gaze at it.	I looked away from the light for a second because it seemed intense enough to burn right through my eyes, yet it didn’t. Maybe the cool mist brushing across my face helped in some way. When I glanced away, all I saw was the vast blackness around me and below me, so I gazed back up toward the light and never looked down again. →
As I watched the light get closer and brighter, the sense of tranquil love grew stronger and stronger. Suddenly, I was no longer accelerating upwards. While I still squinted from the extreme brightness of the light, my eyes began to adjust to it. I began to notice thick white puffs of clouds continuously moving about. A breeze from the moving clouds gently blew the lightweight, long, flowing garment that I was now wearing. I could also see that I was barefoot as I began to slowly walk amidst the clouds. Before I knew it, I was gazing upon this magnificent gate that was gloriously glistening.	I just stared with amazement at its beauty. Rays of prismatic light were bouncing off the exquisite gems in all directions. It was totally breathtaking. Since I always longed for a driveway gate back on the farm, I caught myself engulfed in trying to remember every astonishing detail about it. As I peered even closer, I watched as pearly gems sparkled radiantly in the light. A remarkable peace drew me in beyond the gates.	I felt so safe that fear never entered my thoughts. I began to squint real hard in attempt to see through the beaming light and continuously moving clouds, but I couldn’t. Then in the near distance toward the right, I got a glimmer of something, so I squinted even harder. The clouds seemed to part enough just to show a hint of a shadow of two people. It seemed to be a man with a woman standing by his side.	I didn’t feel as if I knew them, but I felt as if they were waiting for me for a reason. Just as the clouds were about to thin out enough for me to see clearer, they abruptly thickened and closed up around the couple. All I could see again were the clouds passing by me in the light. I wondered why the clouds thickened up so fast just as I was about to see who was there.	At that same time, I realized there was someone right in front of me. The clouds also thickened around that shadow so I could not see him. There are no words to describe the incredibly intense love I felt, standing there in front of him. No one could ever imagine a love so powerfully strong. At that moment, it hit me. I was in heaven standing before our Lord. →
As I stood there before Him, I felt that He knew every detail of my soul. I felt dumb that I didn’t realize the gates I had passed through were the pearly gates until that moment. My eyes turned away for a second and looked down to my right. I didn’t know if the light was just so bright or if I felt unworthy of such wondrous love. It seemed as if He could hear my thoughts because I heard, “Fear not; for thou art worthy of my love.” As I heard those words, my throat grew tight and my eyes swelled with tears. I thought, “Are you sure?”	With each question came an answer and reassurance. It seemed as if my whole life was reviewed and clarified in a flash. If I could only choose one word to describe our Lord, it would have to be “Love”, an indisputable love. I don’t know how to explain it. I couldn’t see Him through the clouds and light, but I felt His love so deeply. He was right there in front of me, so close to me.	I felt incredible love, power, and peace in His voice, but I don’t know if He actually spoke. It was as if we felt, heard, and responded to each other without the need to speak. I was told I had to go back; I wasn’t supposed to die when I did; and I had more work to do. In addition, I was told that I had to protect my husband and son from someone. 69d/March 4, 2004
On the gurney to the operating room. I was so cold. Then, I saw a beautiful light. Very warm, inviting. I wanted to go to the light. I was warm. It was so bright, comforting, I was at peace and was drawn towards the light. I heard nothing. Then, all of a sudden, I heard faintly in the background, "We’re losing her." The voices started to get louder and louder. I heard my doctor yelling at me that she wasn't going to give up. I remember getting cold again. The light was gone.	I woke up 6 hours later on a ventilator, unable to breathe on my own. I believe something spectacular happened that day. I am a Christian, I have always believed in God, and now... I have confirmation that something is waiting out there for me, and I will not be afraid to go there again when invited the next time. 70d/March 4, 2004
I could feel that my heart was not beating anymore after that, the moment before blacking out. My experience after this point seemed to happen very quickly. I did not see anything. It was much different than that: in order to see you need eyes. It was like being alone in the dark with nothing around that "exists." Something "spoke" to me but it was like the words were given straight to my conscience.	The things it (god? I don't really know) told me were "New Year, New Birth." I knew it referred to me dying, and that I was to die that night no matter the circumstances. The second thing it "explained" (and this is one thing I am still trying to grasp it's meaning, but nothing makes any more sense to me).	It "said," "In heaven (obvious god or Christian reference), what you need to understand is you do not need eyes to see." The rest I knew just from a "knowing” that came with its messages. The only thing I understand about the second message is it is something I am supposed to share, because so many people don't understand the concept of physical life and non-physical life.	I knew that I had to share this because it felt too many people are living under misconceptions and are blaming their gods or god for this. I knew that people need to understand you don't see with eyes in heaven because eyes are part of the body and are necessary to see physically. When you are dead, you no longer have eyes to see with.	Once people understand this concept, as simple as it is, then they will have the ability to be able to understand the concepts of the afterlife better and in the way they need to be thought of. Then I was back. Boom! My eyes opened. 71d/March 4, 2004
I saw the light of the truck coming at our car and heard a bang. I was then above a street light watching the car flip over and over to rest on the sidewalk. Then I saw grayish cement-looking material and thought I was in a conduit of some kind. I was quite afraid and felt very cold I wanted to get out. Then I sensed I was moving and the cement-like conduit started to speed past my eyes. I was scared but turned and looked ahead and saw a light and was increasing with greater and greater speed until I left the conduit into brilliant white light which was extremely bright but not hard on the eyes.	I did not know where I was but soon sensed that I was not alone. I then saw what I can best describe as an opaque window or screen. Like a shower curtain. I saw silhouettes of sorts and sensed that it was my mother who died in 1971, my friend who died in 1976, and my grandfather who died in 1979. I wanted to go to them but heard from them, "No, not yet." I was disappointed and angry as I wanted to see them, especially my mom.	Then I was in a beautiful place a kind of endless sprawling landscape that was warm and sunny. I wanted to stay there and felt fantastic in that there were no more questions to be asked or problems to overcome. All is so simple. I just knew all the answers: there was nothing other than love and service... that was it. Then I sensed something in front of me and heard a voice (thought) encourage me to look at my life.	I didn't want to do that since I was enjoying my experience, but did so anyway. I looked over my life and saw incidents that quickly showed me that there were things I had to do. I said "I think I got a lot of work to do," to which the reply was "Well, you had better get at it." I then found myself back and awake staring at the back side of the driver's clutch pedal.	I had been in the passenger seat before. I moved my feet and was relieved that my back was not broken, and then waited until the firemen smashed the back window and pulled me out of the car. 72d/March 4, 2004
I couldn't breathe in. Then all of a sudden I saw all my (deceased) family members come towards me (in hospital beds... like the one I was in...) they were all surrounding me. Then my (deceased) father's face was right in front of me (he died when I was ten of a heart attack). There seemed to be a white light or substance surrounding his face. He was just looking right into me.	Then a yellow light or substance started coming downward towards my dad's face, which I seemed to 'know' was my (recently deceased) twin brother. Then all of a sudden, I seemed to be 'awake' and wondering what was over my shoulder.	It was my fiancée crying, telling me 'Don't go! Don’t go.” Then I was fine. 73d/April 6, 2004
I saw the doctor hitting my chest. I saw him take the paddles to my chest four times. I was standing there a couple of feet off the ground as they were working on me. I saw this bright light. Then I saw this beautiful face; it was bright as the clouds. And then I saw my Mom, who is deceased.	Then I heard a firm but pleasant voice say to go back. I saw the nurse in my face, screaming at me to breathe. And like a swoosh; I was back in my body taking in a deep breath. 74d/April 13, 2004
I received 480 volts hand-to-hand and flew backward. The next thing I know is I’m floating above my body, looking at everyone coming to see if I'm okay. The feeling was of endless body and carefree, loving and worry free. Then, I felt something "push" me back down, and I remember a bright light then waking up face down on the floor. 75d/April 20, 2004
I was in the intensive care emergency room. I remember laying there and closing my eyes. The next thing I remember is sort of floating over this beautiful landscape of green, green grass and the most beautiful flowers I have ever seen in my life. The feeling around me was the most loving feeling and the sun was shining soooo bright, but it was not hot, it was warm, just right. I could see in the distance, a tree, a large tree, and I remember I had to go toward it. As I was floating towards the tree I could hear a voice say, “You can't go now.”	I stopped and looked around, but I don't remember seeing anyone, but I felt someone. I remember saying, but not speaking, “I don't want to leave.” I could hear the voice in my head saying, “Not now, your children need you, look up.” I looked up and I could see my two children and my husband reaching over a mountain trying to grab my hand.	I seem like I was at the bottom of this steep cliff. The voice told me to go but don't let the hands touch me. At that moment I began to raise up the side of the cliff. I then notice hands started to reach out of the cliff. Just as I was almost at the top, I could see my family reaching for me, and all of a sudden I felt as though I was pushed up and over, and I woke up.	... This is not the only time I have had a near death experience. I had another one in the year 1998. I had another hypoglycemic experience. This time I was with my fiancée at his house. He told me we were sleeping. He turned over and put his arm over me and I was cold. He woke up and said I was not breathing right. ...	Doing all of this, I remember laying on the bed, and all of a sudden I was in this very bright place full of warmth and love. I was not alone. I could feel someone on both sides of me, and we were approaching this person with two other persons on each side of that person. I felt as though this person was both male and female. →
As I got closer I could see white. Each person on the sides were very important to the person in the middle, and there was love. The person in the middle had on a bright white robe, and I remember seeing gold ropes hanging from the waist of this person, but I could never see a face. As I approached and stood in front of this person I felt incredible love.	I did not want to leave, but I could hear this person say, “Breathe.” Just as this was said to me, I took a deep breath and woke up. 76d/April 30, 2004
I flat-lined whilst in surgery. I think it was, it was then that I felt myself floating towards the ceiling. The horrendous pain I had been in was gone, and it’s hard to describe but I felt surrounded/infused with this powerful "LOVE." It must be how a baby must feel whilst growing in its mother’s womb. I don't know how else to describe it. I felt safe.	I remember looking down and seeing my body lying there with the doctors/nurses working on me. I could hear them saying she's not responding. One of the doctors told a nurse to stand clear. I remember looking at what they were wearing on their feet, and watching what they were doing and saying.	It was then that I suddenly knew I had to go back, that there is a reason for me being alive today something I have yet to do. I then heard the doctor say, "Stand clear. We will try one last time." They had been trying to resuscitate me with those electric pad things.	It was then that I felt a painfully sharp pain in my chest. It felt like I had been "sucked" back into my body, and I mean literally sucked. 77d/April 30, 2004
As I was being attended in the ER, I was suddenly in a room that appeared to be a well-appointed office paneled in dark, rich wood. On my left-front, there were a series of shelves containing many small figurines that appeared to be made of pewter. It seems that some were of horsemen, knights and the like. The focus of the experience, however, was on a well-dressed professional looking man standing before me and apparently communicating with me. (Although I don't believe that there was any verbal communication, there was perfect understanding.)	The person wore a white shirt and necktie, and appeared as some one who had just removed his suit coat. The entire scene had the impression of informality, but yet being very important. This person seemed to be using a blackboard and white chalk as an aid to his delivery. The most apt way that I have found to convey my overall impression is to liken it to an orientation session for some corporation/ business.	I remember distinctly trying, during the experience, to put it into proper context. I told myself that I was "dreaming" but, as if arguing with myself, saying, "No, this is entirely too real to be a dream.” Also while the experience was unfolding all the details were vividly clear. Then suddenly I seemed to be removed from that "office-instructional" situation, and I was floating on my back, feet first through a dark void.	At once, the experience was past and the vivid details became very indistinct and remain so today. The overall impressions, however, remain with me and positively so. There was no fear associated with this void, in fact I was unnaturally calm. Delightfully at peace (endorphins?)	During the 'void-journey' phase the medical staff must have been resuscitating me, because it all ended abruptly by someone rudely kicking me in the backside. I was suddenly back in the ER and very unhappy about being handled so roughly. 78d/April 30, 2004
Remember as a small child trying to think back as far as possible to my earliest recollections. It was the sensation of speeding (through space?) and hearing or thinking the words "At last." Felt as though I was emerging from an eternity of black nothingness.	Recently I went to the home page of a website with computer graphics showing what it is like moving through the tunnel.	I was fascinated for quite a while because it resembled so closely what I first experienced. A kind of re-experience! 79d/June 4, 2003
It was so much during the time. At the time, I could hear voices. And just see white. And I have always assumed the voices I have heard were my family around my hospital bed. However since then, I have on occasion experienced severe déjà vu. And on numerous occasions realize that a moment I am experiencing I have dreamt before. 80d/June 4, 2003
I was given last rites by a priest because the doctor felt there wasn’t much time left. I found myself outside my body as a transparent and weightless me floating above my earthly body, looking down upon it in a hospital room. While in the beautiful weightless body I looked down beside my body, and saw many relatives and my mother in the CCU. Two of my mother's sisters were arguing over who should comb my hair. My mother sat on a chair looking so sad. Then I saw above me, my grandfather who had died when I was probably in my teens.	He had a boxer dog on a leash with him which somehow I knew was part of my grandfather's family. He was pleading on my behalf to someone who I could not see as he was hidden, but I knew was God. With Him was a man with a beard, could have been Moses or one of the prophets. My grandfather was looking up to Him and saying, Please... let her at least stay here with me.	He kept pleading. Than I saw a review of my life go so fast I couldn’t recollect what I reviewed. I was frightened of my faults, sins and weaknesses but God comforted me and told me I did a kind deed for a little boy once and because of it the boy's life had been positive. He said even to this day the little boy remembers you. (I did not recall this deed in real life.)	Then God asked me if I wanted to go with him. I did not have time to think as at that moment He showed me my mother and her future whereas she would have cancer. I felt emotional pain in my heart knowing she would suffer, so I said no, I want to be with my mother because she will need me.	At that moment I woke up from the coma and there were all the relatives I had seen when out of my body. I was so happy and at peace when I awakened. 81d/Aug. 20, 2004
I was above the operating table as if to help them. Then I realized I was at the ceiling. Then it felt like I was being led by a magnet, and I went right thru the wall and down the corridor going right out the front doors of the hospital. How could this be happening? Then I realized I recognized where I was and took the road all the way home. I saw Jimmy with his friend EA, and I went in circles around him and could breathe him in. Suddenly I was sucked into a tunnel or maybe the sun was evaporating me, but I lost all control and was going backwards thru a tunnel.	I could see light in different colors in my peripheral vision. I cannot describe the sound. I thought it would never end until it did. I was in space, darkness and I became aware I had no body but was floating and yet I could still feel the pain. How could this be? I heard two voices and tried to turn to look at them when I realized they were in a form of glowing lights, very small. They were everywhere around me but still they were only two beings.	I felt their warmth and compassion for me. They were talking and I was hearing without seeing their faces. They were asking each other if she knew. Knew what? I was a little unsettled then. What was I supposed to know? Where was I? Then suddenly they said to stay there, do not move, and they will be right back. I saw them fly up to an enormous building or object/satellite and go into what looked like a glass window and then quickly emerge and head right back to me.	They said it was not my time and to stay with the pain and it was a mistake. Again they asked each other if I knew the answer. They were very busy trying to find an answer, maybe a formula, it was mathematical. They were looking inside of where I store my knowledge. I did not know it. A moment of feeling I needed to learn, and then a flood of information that I do not remember.	They cautioned me again not to move. How could I move? I do not have a body. Then I became aware that I was in a primal position like a baby in a womb and my mouth was open in a scream but no sound was coming out. I felt connected to earth with cord, and I could see land formations and water and clouds. It was all in black and white with a touch of blue color or gray. →
I tried to stay with the pain and not to move but then, just like when I went into the tunnel, I began moving, slow at first then faster, and I was drawn into an area that I could see others. I saw children starving and images of people after war or extreme anguish. It is all so unfair and cruel. I just wanted to melt or forget who I was. I remember realizing I was just told that it wasn't my time. Yet what was happening to me felt like my life was being sucked out of me and I was holding on for dear life.	I could see Jimmy's face and his golden hair and we were running thru a golden field of wheat. I was faster and he was trying to catch me. Then little by little, he was the only thing I could see, just a circle with his face in it. I was back suddenly into the place where all the unfairness was and starving people and children and being pulled through it and I forgot myself, I became whatever it was.	Then I was in total darkness with gray mist around me, floating. Who was I? Where was I? Then, floating in a white robe shimmering in gold was my Mom. She passed away just six months before. There she was and I did not even believe this could happen. I guess there is a god then if she is with me. She asked me to stay with her in that clingy kind of way.	I told her I had to go back to Joe, and she told me I would have a lot of pain. I do not know if she meant in my future or just going back to my body and fighting for my life. She told me to stay and there would be no more pain. I insisted I had to go. She showed me a toddler, a little girl, and said she would be with me in five years.	I did not know if she meant "she" meaning my mom or my child to be. The toddler was standing reaching into a drawer in a large bedroom. Then I heard myself tell her, sorry Mom I have got to run. ... Then suddenly I was back in a tunnel with such force. It is undesirable, and crash a cold hard metal table ... →
I was in an incubator like a newborn baby in my birthday suit, and I was on a breathing machine and then a breathing pump. Finally I quit fighting the man-made breathing and became aware they were breathing for me... Then I felt a warm hand run across my face and run fingers thru my hair. I looked around for the nurse; no one was there... IT WAS MY MOM... Then sleep. I awoke late that night in a hospital room, hooked up to many machines. 82d/Aug. 20, 2004
I was laying in my bed in my darkened room. I began to notice clouds of light spreading themselves across the room. Now there was no natural light coming into the room, so this seemed odd to me. I would slap myself on the face trying to see my way out of the light-filled fog. I noticed the clock, it was 1:00. Then I slipped out of my body. I floated through walls into some of the other patient rooms while out of my body to check on one particular patient where I realized he would be ok.	Then I found myself elevated into brilliant light, blue sky and light-filled clouds. Someone or something was holding me to their chest like a baby. Even though I could not make out faces or forms, I just knew I loved, loved, loved. There are no words for the feelings of love I received and felt. This was no earthly experience, that is for sure!	There were also light beings or angels that surrounded me, and they were singing and reciting the most beautiful poetry. As a poet, I only wish I had a tape recorder. I found myself in a beautiful green and flowering meadow at one point where there were people I seemed to know. Every so often I would slip back into my room, into the light-filled fog, into my body again, and then I would slip back out.	In this state, I am aware they told me about my future and my purpose in this life, but in my dense human state, I cannot recall what I was told. About 6 p. m., I came to myself again, filled with emotion and wonder. I see things, am aware. I cannot bear to even kill a spider or destroy its web. Life is so much more precious to me.	I believe that everything has spirit--consciousness, if you will. All life, both seen and unseen, is energy. Energy is life--it all comes from the same Source. We are all One, everything is One, past, present and future. Time is only an illusion, made up to suit our earthly experience. →
I have dropped all forms of organized religion and find myself open to much more universal truths. I am content to live with the mystery now. I live with the bigger picture, meditate, read, study, write, pray. I try to live with as much joy in my life as possible, in spite of being ill. I am much happier. I do not fear death at all. In fact I believe I won't live to see a ripe old age; still, that is okay with me. I can work from either side of the veil. 83d/Aug. 20, 2004
On the night Dad died, I had a dream that has stayed with me to this day. I was in a great concrete pipe, and there was a cloudy light at the end, like a strong sun behind a white cloud. I walked up this tunnel toward the light. As I got closer, I ‘heard’ in my mind that my father had died, but that I would see him again in a long time (when I was about 76).	I argued with the voice that my father and mother had divorced. I was again told that my father was dead but that I would see him again. Then the dream ended and I couldn’t get back into it. 84d/Sept, 1, 2004
When the drug hit me it was explosive; I rocketed out of my body, exiting out of the top of my head. I lingered only moments while everyone around me (below me as I was above the ceiling) panicked and freaked out. I did not care in the least about that 20-year-old woman I was looking down upon (ME). I found myself in a wet Cobblestone Tunnel that veered to the left. I was moving so fast, I had lost my physical form and became a sphere where I could see all around me at once. It felt like a perfectly natural shape for me.	I could feel a magnetic pull (for want of a better word). I was being pulled into a white Light. I wanted to get there as quickly as possible, because all of these wonderful, ecstatic, feelings emanating from this Light. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, FORGIVENESS, EMPATHY, COMPLETE ACCEPTANCE OF ME, DEEP UNDERSTANDING.	I rushed faster and faster to reach that light. I emerged in a sea of spheres. We were luminous (I had illuminated the tunnel while traveling there). We could pass through each other, and it was overwhelming the feelings and thought forms I experienced. All of us were trying to get as close as we could to the location of where all these wonderful feelings were coming from:	A HUGE SPHERE that was just as easy to pass through as we were even though I never made it that close. Next thing I knew I was sent shooting back into my body. The paramedics were there, a young male paramedic was wiping my face with a wet towel and telling me to "Breathe." 85d/Oct. 26, 2004
I was sleeping, I think. I went into a very deep trance-like state, loud humming sounds inside my head. I was going though a tunnel. It was like spiraling, spinning around, shaped like a funnel. I was being sucked through this. Then there was a very very bright light. At first it was really small, like a dot. Very quickly it got a lot larger. The closer I got to this the more relaxed I was, and the light grew bigger and bigger.	All of the sudden it seemed like I felt like something really different was going to happen. I was scared, it was a good feeling, but I started to think about my two small children. All of the sudden it was like I heard a voice from somewhere telling me to go back; I wasn't ready. The next thing I remember was waking up. 86d/Oct. 26, 2004
The underneath of the ice was not smooth but sharp like a jagged bent knife running this way and that. ... Then everything went slowly to a deep blackness. I was aware in this place, but there was nothing except a profound feeling of peace, calmness, serenity. Like finding your favorite hidey hole in the dark. This went on for what seemed an eternity, just the pleasant darkness. At some point I started hearing crying and frantic voices calling me and swearing at me! Then as quick as anything I found my self awake, coughing out water from my mouth and nose. 87d/Oct. 26, 2004
My hands went limp, my body slumped over. My soul fell, fell, fell, fell, fell into darkness, the pit, nothingness, I died. Was cussing myself out, thinking I must of OD'd; now I'm dead. The last thought I had was, "Oh God!” Suddenly was pulled out of darkness, back into my body, which sat back up. Was in my body just for a split second, long enough to make the turn onto the new section. After that, my spirit keep rising.	Was thinking I can't believe this is happening to a piece of •••• like me. Was looking down over earth, could see Michigan. Detroit had a red glow covering the whole city. The strangest noise I ever heard was blasting, or started to blast then, and I took off going a trillion billion miles up into the sky. I came upon four different energies with all this other energy all around me.	The first energy, Good, moved from up in front of me, over to my left side, looking down on me, facing me from the left. The second, was my uncle who died back 1975. It wasn't his body, but for some reason I knew it was him. The third was my kids’ grandfather who died early that year. It wasn't his body, but I just knew it was him, for some reason. The forth was evil, the devil. These were very, very strong energies.	As I was looking up at these energies, with all this other energy around me, I heard the Word of God. Here’s what I heard: ”You are a good man.” "All men have purpose.” "You have purpose.” "White man help the black man.” "Organize.” I started to fall back when all the energies started to line up in a row, in front of me.	Right before the last energy (evil) got in line, it showed it's face. First it was the ugliest, evil looking thing, then it smiled at me. As I started to fall, they fell behind me. Evil was last to fall. Back, back, back, back, back into my body. 88d/Oct. 26, 2004
I was under complete cardiac arrest for 61 minutes. I remember that I made a comment to myself about how the operating light could be the light that people were talking about as doctors seem to be working on somebody. I was standing at the background and I was a child again. There was an urge or a voice that called me and I ran off. The chronological order of the events that happened is fuzzy. When I was a child, I had an accident. I fell off a ravine and was found face down in a small creek.	That event, in itself, was fuzzy because I was a child. However, it seemed like I was transported to that moment in time, and I was watching as people were trying to wake me up, which I eventually did. There were several other revelations such as the origin of man, evolution, the meaning of the holy trinity, souls, my past life, etc., was disclosed to me by a voice.	Then as fast as it started, I heard my grandmother calling me and asking me what I am doing 'here' and pointed to my mother. My grandmother told me that I should run to my mother because she will take me home. It’s already late and I should not be there. I did as I was told. My mother was looking around.	I was wondering why she could not see or hear me because I was standing right next to her. I grabbed her arm to get her attention, then I felt a huge slap in my face, I woke up and the nurse was telling me to relax. 89d/Oct. 26, 2004
I was dreaming. Then, suddenly, I was pulled into a tunnel - I was moving tremendously fast. I knew it was not just a dream anymore - I remember thinking - "I'm dying, I'm dying!” I moved through the tunnel, and there was wonderful music all around - similar to Enya, Clannad, that sort of sound. But even more beautiful. I had a feeling of complete calm, safety and joy - a kind of joy which is not physical, but spiritual.	Words can't describe it, anyway. I was pulled through the tunnel, and there was an area in the middle of it, where there was a kind of status quo - where forces pulled both ways - back, or further into the tunnel. At this point, I saw a tremendous light at the end of the tunnel - some kind of being was standing there.	An angel? Christ? I don't know. This being can best be described like a polished saxophone, with light pouring out from all the buttons. These "buttons" were points or light sources coming out from the "being.” Then, I heard a voice, yelling, slightly distressed - a woman's voice - "Not yet, not yet!”	She said this in Norwegian ("Ikke ennå, ikke ennå!"). I was pulled back, with the same great speed as before, and was out of the tunnel. Then I woke up. 90d/Nov. 5, 2004
The nurse on my right quoted my blood pressure as it fell. I could feel myself fading away, but at the same time I had extremely clear hearing! “50 over 15. Hurry!” she yelled. I could feel the nurse on my left working on my arm trying to insert the IV. I felt like I was riding an elevator that had lost its cables, plunging towards its final destination. I realized I was dying. Part of me, my soul, started floating out of my body.	I felt myself hovering about 3 feet above my body, but felt as if a piece of me was still in my body trying to hold on and getting the soul to come back inside! Like a struggle of strength to see which one was stronger, the soul or the body. There was an extreme feeling of peace, words insufficient to describe the feeling.	The whole event must not have lasted more than maybe 30 seconds or a minute, and I’ve had a hard time figuring out why so many things happened to me as a result of this event when I didn’t even go to heaven, or see the tunnel or light? 90d/Nov. 5, 2004
I begged “Please help me... oh god help me..." In that moment I felt something touch my third eye gently and I was knocked out. The next thing, I am lying above myself. Three native healers came in a light form. I swear this to you as I sit here now. They mixed herbs and rubbed them on my stomach. One chanted a beautiful deep harmonious song. They stayed and laid their hands on me.	They disappeared and the touch again came on my third eye. I awoke in tears of joy and confusion. The pain was gone. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life and I will cherish it for as long as I live. 91d/Jan. 3, 2005
I went to bed and fell asleep - as you do - however, I was (suddenly... some time after going to bed?) plunged into a very black dark void. While being in this void I also knew (?) that I was dead and needed to look for 'the light'. It felt very natural, as if this was the next logical thing to do. I was not at all worried about the fact that I was dead.	Knowing that I had died seemed totally irrelevant and unimportant. I was not even slightly curious or interested in the body or life I had left behind. While looking for 'the light' within this extremely dark void a voice said to me: 'Go back, it is not your time yet'.	This is also strange as it was not really a voice I heard, but more like a thought that was running through my brain (consciousness). After this... I woke up and had no air in my lungs. I had to inhale deeply and then used my asthma pump.	It could be argued that it was only a dream, I can accept that. But I have to say that it was the most vivid dream I have ever had, and it haunts me to this very day. It felt real and true. 92d/Jan. 3, 2005
I got into the bathtub and started splashing my face with water. When I took my hand away from my face, all I saw were people. I pushed my way through the people and grabbed the phone that was in my room. (I must have only pushed redial.) I couldn't see the floor or my room, only many people. I remember thinking that I didn't want to die yet. I kept on saying, “No, no, I can’t go now. I haven't seen my mom yet."	When my mom and step dad showed up. I don't remember going down the stairs or how my mom saw me when she got here. I came to, I guess, when I saw my step-dad. I remember them both carrying me to the car. On the way to the hospital, I remember going in and out and my mom saying, "Shelley, Shelley.”	I also remember the two ladies that were in my house, whom I didn't know. But when the people showed up (in my house), I felt like I knew some of them, but most of them I didn't know. Two of the ladies were in my mom’s car; they didn't say a word just looked at me when I looked at them.	I was scared when I saw them in the house, but I remember that in the car I wasn't scared; I felt comfort. When we got to the ER, and the nurse took my blood pressure, she rushed me back to the ER room and called the doc.	There were nurses and doctors everywhere. They started to ask me questions. I remember answering, but not being heard. No one could hear me, and I was screaming the answers!! →
I remember getting very mad because no one could hear me. I remember hearing the doctor saying, “I don't think she is here," and I remember saying, “I’m here, I’m here!!” As they cut my clothes off, I really remember one nurse saying, "Doctor, she's going into cardiac arrest!" Right when she said that, I saw my lifeless body lying on the ER bed and my mom in a chair, crying in shock.	Behind me became bright and I saw a hand. I turned around and looked at myself and didn't turn back around. That hand touched my shoulder. When I saw what was going on in the ER and saw myself, I panicked and started pleading to god, to whomever that touched me, “Let me go back, please let me come back.	I have children and a husband that need me! No, not now god. Please not now. My husband is on his way home; he knows I’m sick and he's coming home from Iraq. Please not now.” Even though I felt peace, comfort, and complete love behind me and around me, I didn't want to go.	The next thing I saw was the room become bright and the light behind me was even brighter. I remember turning around crying, and I asked, one more time, “Please, Lord not now.” The next thing I knew, I was inside my body again. 93d/Jan. 3, 2005
A van had hit my car. I could hear people saying, "It's a lady in the car and she's dead." I could hear them, but I couldn't move. I began to drift and realize I was not inside of my body. That's when I started having a conversation with God. I said, "God my husband left here like this. Is this it for me? What about my daughter?" He didn't answer me. Then I began to drift more and realize I was looking at my body while sitting on the dashboard of my vehicle.	I could see everything that was going on, but I had no strength or ability to control anything. I asked again, "Is this it for me? What about my job?" Then I started feeling a wonderful sensation. I was floating and it was good. That's when God said, "No! You have purpose." I immediately shifted back into my body.	Then God said, "Lift up your head!" I didn't want to tell him that I couldn't, but I thought it. The next thing I know hands from behind me reach up, touch the top of my head and chin, and place my head up in a forward position. Two firemen stood at my doors. 94d/Lift Your Head
I was on a ventilator in an intensive care unit. I felt like I was going down a tunnel. It was dark at first and then it was very light, bright sun light. As I got to the end of the tunnel and I was bathed in warm sunlight, the sky above me became dark, with only bits of light getting through. The darkness was caused by my family, friends, and a pet...all of whom had died before me. They were hovering over me. I was standing looking up at them above me. Each person/animal moved to create a human chain to block the light from reaching me.	My father's voice spoke to me. He said that I was okay, safe, and had a choice. He said that I could come to them or I could stay where I was and continue with my "earthly" life. Each time a beam or glint of light came on or near, my grandfather, grandmother, past partner, friends who had died of AIDS, and dog (a beautiful Bichon) would all shift to block the bright light.	The dim light was warm and welcoming, but the bright light was kept from me. I was protected from it in a gentle way. The question again was: Am I safe? And the answer was I could stay or go. My father encouraged me to stay, as I had more to do. However, if I was too tired I was welcome. I remember feeling joy, not fear and being free from pain.	I also remember feeling calm and peaceful outside of the hospital and the intensive care unit. Again, I was struck by the "angles" of my life floating above me. I adjusted to block the bright, warm light that was waiting for me, if I so chose to go. My father is the only voice that spoke to me.	However, I could plainly see the smiles and the peaceful faces of the people I mentioned before. I knew all of the people making the covering web, prohibiting the full light to reach me. My father again asked me or told me that it was up to me... →
I was welcome, but I had a lot of things I could do and be (if I stayed). I had/have a loving partner and I have a chance to live my life in a new way, a way that was more peaceful, calm, less sorrowful and painful and more opportunities for growth, learning, love, change, and rebirth. ... Again, I remember feeling safe and hearing my father's gentle, kind, warm, and calm voice guiding me to look at myself and to make a decision about my life and future. 95d/Under the Surface
I woke up as I was being wheeled back from the theatre and told the staff I had been awake. I described their conversations while I was meant to be asleep with my eyes and mouth taped. I had also tried to join in, not realising that I wasn't actually "there". I would have been very willing to try to find a reasonable, scientific explanation for what was happening until the staff realised I was actually reading their thoughts. They were all scared and I was also. At first I didn't know I was doing this. It seemed very natural and like real speech.	I kept getting upset by their comments until they pointed out I shouldn't have heard them. We (me and the staff who came in and out of the room) must have had one of the weirdest conversations on the operating suite that week! I could see my days stretching out in front of me for the next three months (very frightening) and could describe personal details about the staff. There was also a blue light around my hands.	The staff saw it. I'm not sure exactly how long the whole experience lasted, but it ended when I eventually managed to have proper sleep. During this, I felt as if I was two people; I think that's the best way to put it. It was as if one person was lying on the trolley and one was sitting up, but both trying to work together simultaneously. I could see my arms and legs, but it felt like I was inside a large boiler suit.	I actually had to move my jaw with my hand to get my mouth to work. I felt as if I had to do my utmost to let the staff know I was awake. I was scared they couldn't see me, and felt enormous fear. I know I had been trying to talk to them during the procedure. I was struggling to understand why they couldn't hear me at the time. I think it was this "awareness" that was speaking to them immediately afterward.	It felt very natural until I saw how scared they were, and then I got a bit scared too. I think the main thing about my experience is that for three months it wasn't just a memory. This is for several reasons, I think. While I was talking to the staff and trying to establish why I felt danger, I was also (as if being in two places) looking in quite close detail at my daily life in the weeks and months ahead. →
So I think the potential for paranoia was quite big for some time. Afterward, at times, it felt as if there was a constant dialogue going on inside my head with the hospital staff that had been in the room. A bit upsetting but not too bad; it felt like a strong memory. Luckily I sort of "knew" there would be a cut-off point, if I could just get to sleep. Unfortunately, I fell out a bit with one of the doctors (the one helping with the anesthetic) so the process of getting to sleep wasn't smooth.	The cut-off point has now passed and there are no "triggers" or things I recognise in my daily life as being directly connected to the time I was in the recovery room. At the time I was trying to dismiss it as a reaction to the anesthetic because I was terrified by what was happening, but one of the surgeons said, "That doesn't explain why you are reading my mind". We went on to have a discussion along similar lines. It's just not possible.	It's my beliefs and associations making this appear to happen. We took the opportunity to put this to the test. I'm not sure how wise this was, but I felt it was necessary because I still felt in a lot of danger and needed to let them know why. I gave the doctor some details about his personal life that no one else knew. He was shocked and embarrassed. I picked words out of his head and said them back to him.	He confirmed accuracy. I did this to all of the staff and asked them to say out loud if I was correct. This is when they started to look a bit nervous. I got them to acknowledge, out loud, that it's very unusual for a patient to wake up from the anesthetic with the ability to read minds. Still, all of that can be explained in a rational way. As this was going on, I described some of the events that I was seeing.	One of them was the cover from the New Scientist (two months prior to publication) with a description of the cover and the date. Another was the News Headlines from BBCNews24 for 7th January. I asked the doctor (the surgeon) to write this down and look out for it. I watched the events come true on the day (one month after I had seen them). It felt like a very strong memory. →
There was a strong feeling of disbelief among everyone there, including me. I also took the opportunity to get the hospital staff to confirm some of the things I had seen. I was scared that they were going to dismiss my fears about the situation. My descriptions (which were confirmed at the time to be correct) included: There was a breathing tube being put through a black bung, which had been placed between my teeth, then fed into my mouth. It was soft rubber, flat like a tapeworm, and full of tiny holes. It was held in place by tape.	The conversation between the staff (the anesthetist wanted to know what time the shops closed). The doctor (the one helping the anesthetist and the one I didn't like) said, "Why, to buy more shoes and handbags?" I tried to join in, but apparently I couldn't because my eyes and mouth were taped. Then there is the anesthetist who took my false tooth out, even though I had asked her to leave it in and she had agreed.	I saw the nurse put it back in later in the recovery room (when I was still apparently asleep). A description of the operating theatre -- the whiteboard just inside the door, but I couldn't read the writing for some reason. I watched the doctor tape, unwrap, and re-bandage my leg as the dressing had slipped. I saw bits of plaster stuck to his fingers.	Additionally, he didn't put in any stitches, just a small piece of tape to cover the two tiny wounds in my knee. I heard the "ting, ting, ting" of the oxygen alarm going off just behind my head. This happened all the way through and I wondered why they didn't just unplug it (if it didn't serve any useful purpose).	I think this is why I fell out with the previously mentioned doctor. So some of the facts were easy to confirm, and some became more confusing as this weird conversation went on in the recovery room. There is much more to add, because as I recall it, I can see that I managed to take in an enormous amount of information both during the operation and during the half hour afterward. →
This was still during the altered state before I went to sleep. I could go into a lot more detail about the actions of the people in the room (one in particular) as it seemed I had a general overview or a birds-eye view. Plus I had the ability to focus quite closely on where I needed to (or where there was danger). It was as if my mind was a television camera with the ability to focus in at close range. Essentially, I had the sensation of experiencing the events from various perspectives.	The feeling of looking forward in time ended when I went to sleep. When I woke up, I was no longer seeing ahead, but I had an odd sensation that I had seen and heard certain things before. It was as if I was reliving them. This lasted for three months. 96d/Recall
I thought, "I am going to die now. Wow." I just slid out of my body and rose above the bed and said to myself, "I thought this one was supposed to be longer. Oh well, I am coming home." I was hovering at the ceiling, totally detached emotionally from my body. I watched him continue to rape and abuse my body without much emotion. I felt wonderful with no pain or negative emotions.	It was as if every cell in my body was in ecstasy. I gave no thought to my beloved pets, family, friends, or plans. I was so excited to go home. I started rising above my house in the light and full of joy until suddenly I was slammed hard back into my body.	I thought to myself "NO! Why was I sent back when he was only going to kill me again?" Suddenly, he [attacker] took his hands off my neck, leaned back, and looked surprised. He put his hands up to his own neck and started tearing at both sides and front of it (like trying to tear invisible fingers away).	... I could tell that he couldn't breathe. I felt that some positive element, like an angel, had attacked him to save me. 97d/Defender
I was in the road, in and out of consciousness. The out-of-body experience was above the car and me. I was spinning above, maybe 30 or 40 feet from the ground. ... Many neighbors came. I was attempting to pull myself out from the road with my left hand. There was severe pain, and times of fainting and pure white light. Many faces above me, including my mother who seemed to be saying, "You stupid bastard."	My father (ex-ambulance man for many years) was kneeling next to me and hand-rolling a cigarette. He quietly said, "Wake up." Then he pressed a nerve located behind my left ear. The feeling when I press it now is intense. He told me later that it revives people in shock, coma, or in being very drunk.	I kept seeing light when my eyes closed, and I felt no pain then. I preferred to be there than in the road. ... None of these things take away the constant vision (I see it now daily) of that out-of-body experience--flying 10 or 15 yards up above me, all while that body of mine spun yards above the car. 98d/Above the Car
I was in the final stage of labor. I remember leaving my body and watching everyone in the room then leaving the room and going to the flat where we lived. My husband and a friend were in the living room watching a TV program at the time. I told my husband it was time to come to the hospital. He put his coat on and came. This was at 9:00pm and he would not stand a chance of getting in.	My son was not well. They let my husband in so he could see the baby and sign for the needed treatment. I came back unwillingly; someone said it was not my time. A doctor was shouting at me. 99d/Back Unwillingly
I was thrown from the car. ... I slipped into what I want to call a deep sleep, but it wasn't at the same time. I could hear my family and see them, but they couldn't see me. Then everything changed completely. It was as if I had awoken or something and I was going to all these places with my family and friends.	It all felt so real. To this day, I swear that it was real. It was so real. In fact when I woke up, I didn't know I had even been asleep, and at first didn't recall what had even happened to me. It didn't come to me until much later on.	I couldn't tell my dream from reality. It was all intertwined. It was like this for a long time after I woke up. 100d/An Onlooker
I remember opening the door and falling to the road. ... First I was in a sitting position with a tunnel around me down to my waist. I felt this as well as saw it. Then I felt this oh so strong love and a sense of everything being okay. I saw the bright light at the end of this long tunnel, but felt afraid because of the way I'd lived my life although the light seemed very loving anyway. I felt distinctness in the tunnel with the outer darkness being a void. I felt that there was no such thing as time. How silly of us I thought.	I didn't seem to have a life review, but I saw a huge scene. I saw what looked like my casket and I saw my family standing there sad. I was thinking it's okay; it's okay. I saw my two little children. They seemed to be larger than the others. I saw their sadness. Then I saw myself about six feet above the vehicle that I hit. I thought, I'm not dead I'm here. Everything is okay.	I then looked down to the road and saw some people looking at my body. I thought, that's not me. I wouldn't cry over that thing. That is like a cigarette butt; it has served its purpose. It's a vehicle to get through this physical world. ... The next thing I remember is being in an ambulance. 101d/Change in Thought