Out From Under: Treating Your Own Addictions Chapter 6

Healing cannot occur without others. For example, if you lost weight on your own, the compliments and support of others certainly were part of your success. A healing network is a group of persons who can distract you during urge cycle peaks, A healing network is essential for success, A healing network also helps make addictions unacceptable and thus confronts an entire society which considers most addictions acceptable.

A net is something that can catch you if you fall. This net must be strong in composition and able to handle stress and tension in order to keep you safe. You will be walking a tightrope for the first year or so. This balancing act will not be without its falls. The expert high-wire performer has practiced and fallen many times. Do not be discouraged if you fall on occasions. The important thing is how well you're supported and how soon you recover and return to the "tightrope" act that truly counts.

The first thing to do is to complete your Healing Activities Schedule in Appendix 5. This step is crucial for your recovery. The plan should include a variety of activities that will involve movement with others. For example, go hiking, don't just go to the movies. You must include group physical activities in your healing plan. Other group activities could include joining clubs such as photography clubs, going to night school, community activities, or classes in arts and crafts, or whatever. Involvement in church activities is another possibility. See Appendix I and Appendix 3.

The chains of your addiction may have left your self-esteem "on the ropes". The initial fear of re-establishing yourself in a social role will make it seem much worse than the actual involvement. A fighter is much more apprehensive before the fight than either during or after it. The overcoming of this initial fear takes mental and physical work on your part so that this bind of negativity can be broken. The easiest way to break this is by having fun activities with other people.

This begins to help you instill joyful meaning into your life, free from the addiction bondage. Read the Twelve Steps To Having Fun at the end of Chap. 3 right now. Once the ball is rolling, it is hard to stop. The fun will begin to grow as a snowball gathers more snow with each roll. This is not apparent to the snowball. You may not see the initial changes that are taking place, but eventually others, and then you yourself, will.

RECOVERY NETWORK SURVEY

1. How much help can your father give you with your healing?

(0) -none
(1) -very little
(2) -don't know
(3) -could help
(4) -very helpful

2. How much help can your mother give you with your healing?

(0) -none
(1) -very little
(2) -don't know
(3) -could help
(4) -very helpful

3. How much help can your brother(s) give you with your healing?

(0) -none
(1) -very little
(2) -don't know
(3) -could help
(4) -very helpful

4. How much help can your sister(s) with your healing?

(0) -none
(1) -very little
(2) -don't know
(3) -could help
(4) -very helpful

5. What other relatives can help? Make a list.

6. What friends can help? Make a list.

7. Of all of the persons on your list, who can help the most? Anyone else?

8. Who helps you now? Anyone else?

Your network begins with one other person. Look at your healing network questionnaire. Who is the person most able to protect you from relapse? This person should be your Tonto, your Robin, your assistant. It could be a family member, no matter how distant, a friend, a co-worker, or anyone you can begin to trust. This person will be equivalent to a sponsor if you are in a recovery group (click Appendix 17).

The Active Imagination Technique was created by Dr. Carl Jung for direct interaction with our higher powers. These and the techniques that follow can be used to realize your goals even if they are not related to recovery. You may want to record the instructions on a cassette tape so you can close your eyes and listen.

1. Take your telephone off the hook.

2. Wear loose clothing so as not to constrict breathing.

3. Sit in a comfortable chair with your feet flat on the floor.

4. Close your eyes loosely and begin to concentrate on your breathing.

5. Start by creating a mental picture.

6. Once the mental image appears, fix it in your mind.

7. Watch the image closely and movement will occur.

8. Continue changing and moving the image in your mind.

9. You're on the way, but repeated effort will be needed.

1. Unplug your telephone or turn off its ringer.

2. Take 3 long slow deep breaths, and relax.

3. Sit in a comfortable chair with your hands in your lap and your feet flat on the floor.

4. Close your eyes loosely and concentrate on your breathing. Do this for more than a minute.

5. Visualize a room with six or seven chairs in a circle. Take a long look at the room.

6. Now, sit in one of the chairs.

7. Have a "group leader" appear in another one of the chairs. Allow
whoever or whatever appears to be your group leader. Simply allow whoever or whatever comes up to be the group leader. Do not reject anyone or anything. (For some persons, a bear came up as leader!)

8. Now have the leader create a person to fill one of the empty chairs.

9. Now have the new grouip member say to you, "I am here to assist you in having fun in your healing."

10. This time it's your turn to create another member to fill another seat. Have the new member say to you, "I am here to assist you in having fun in your healing."

11. Now have the group leader create another mew member, and have the new member say the same thing to you.

12. Alternate back and forth between you and the group leader until no more new members appear. If more chairs are needed, simply create them. Your fun network could reach twelve, or even more.

13. Now have each member make a suggestion regarding healing. The suggestion can be for your healing, theirs, or both. Continue this for as long as it takes for everyone to complete the process. After a while, go on to the next step.

14. Have your "group" say in unison, "addiction is not acceptable." Do this many times.

15. Now have your group go "outside" play together.

16. Have your group leader tell the group to meet everyday, and then slowly end the technique for today.

REPEAT THIS EXERCISE EVERY DAY.

1. Make a list of twenty or more persons whom you know who are not active users, or any others who would not be able to join your network right now because of their own addictions.

2. Choose a sidekick, a person you know who truly wants you to recover, and who is one you'd listen to during an urge peak. (See Appendix 17.)

3. If no one comes up, or if you are isolated, then you need to get involved in some community activity. (See Appendix 3.)

4. Your next tactic is to find a few good persons who, along with your sidekick, will be the nucleus of a group of persons to whom you can turn when your urge cycle peaks, and with whom you can have a lot of fun. (See Urge Peak Chart at beginning of Chapter 2.)

5. Tell two or three persons on the list that you want to create a fun healing network that includes them. Read this page to them. Remember, when you don't ask something of others you deny them an opportunity. This, your biggest step, is one small step in the battle,
but a giant leap in the war.

6. Now we move to the multi-level network process. Ask two or three key persons on your list to "distribute healing," that is, ask each to find a new person whom they think might be interested in joining a fun network that also happens to be in recovery.

7. Understand the concept of network synergy. Dr. Boris Sidis proposed long ago that the total energy of a group is greater that the mere sum of its individual energies. If your network reaches seven or more persons, you will have a powerful tool. Try to reach this number.

If you have any doubt about this, go to a self-help group meeting and see what they think (see Appendix 18 ).

Step 7. Trial Trust Exercise

Unless it is an important matter, DON'T DISTRUST SOMEONE TODAY. Trust them regardless of what you fear they might do. Be strong enough to move ahead even if they break that trust. They are human, and so are you. "Live and Let Live."

Step 8. Group Reading and Speaking

Sit down with some of the members of your Fun Healing Network and read Appendix 1 together. Then read the 12 Steps To Having Fun in Chapter 3.

Now do this group reading activity with randomly selected parts of this handbook.

Have the members say to you in unison, "Addiction is not acceptable." Do this many times.

Step 9. Analyzing Addiction Dreams

Make a habit of writing in your notebook all of your dreams, especially those that involve addiction, and have other members of your network do the same. Then have a group sharing and analysis of these dreams. Look for themes in them such as rescuers and death. You may find this a powerful tool for your recovery.

Step 10. Accelerating Recovery with Your Network

After your Fun Healing Network is in full swing for a few months, begin to invite persons who are not in healing to join. Be sure they will not be taking any mind altering substances or engaging in your addictive activities. Ultimately, you must interact in the world of users and nonusers. Do not confine your world to recovering persons.

Once the ball is rolling it takes energy to keep it moving. Your healing network will help you. You should be constantly searching and expanding your horizon. Keep your enthusiasm high. The world holds unlimited fun-filled adventures for you.

Now read the Twelve Steps To Having Fun again.